New to this......calling out to mothers of toddlers

[Mrswilson1623]

Hello all

I am Claire, I am 30 and have suffered with emetaphobia for as long as I can remember! I have a 3 year old daughter and since having her my phobia has become 100 times worse!! I hate this time of year for germs and bugs being spread!!

Today I find myself in an utter state of panic, we had a play date yesterday, and today the child who she was playing with yesterday got sent home from school due to a v* bug

I now feel I am waiting on my daughter to become ill!

How do other mothers cope in similar situations?

I have lots of avoidance in my life at the moment, and I am dreading her starting nursery in January!!!

Thank claire xx

[Syrup]

Hi Claire!

You're in the hardest stage, I PROMISE it gets better. Toddlers are just plain tough. Once she reaches the age of 5 it really does improve. With more independence comes a more relaxed feel when your child is out and about. You're almost there! Remember that every day, month, year that you make it through is one step closer to her being more independent and YOU feeling that you don't have to 'protect' her from germs and sickness. You'll get there!

As for the child she was with yesterday, unless you were out and about together (and a play place, etc) it's highly unlikely that they caught the bug at the same time. People aren't contagious until they begin to show symptoms. So she didn't catch anything off of her friend yesterday if that's your concern. I used to teach preschool and kids would be ill at home and I'd get the call that I should 'warn' all of the other children's parents as so-and-so got ill and was contagious at school. NONE of the other kids EVER came down with the bug ANY of the times that occurred (which was often, especially after the weekend).

You're going to be ok! Remember that the best thing about the future is that it happens one day at a time. It's not January yet! She has a WHOLE MONTH of growing up to do before then!

xoxo
Glad you're here.

[Mrswilson1623]

Thank you so much for this reply! It's deffo put my mind at ease and made me cry a little lol!!

I have been having Cognitive behaviour thearapy on and off for years and I am about to start EMDR therapy, nothing seems to work when you have a child! My anxiety levels are at an all time high at the moment! So thought I would seek advice from like minded people! Because I find no one understands my phobia, fears and anxiety!

The hardest thing of all is she is my world, but when she's ill I crumble and can't be there for her like a mother should!

Thank you again for your reply, it is greatly appreciated xx

[ren2005]

Hello! You sound just like me...
Always had the phobia, but 100 times worse after having my son. He is also 3 years old.

You are not alone. I worry every day that he willl catch something. I wash his hands all the time. He is not in daycare or pre school yet.
I dread next year.
All I can say is....I am talking to a therapist and on meds. I just started up again. So I haven't noticed a difference. If I need to switch therapists I will.
how else will I get through the next years of his life.
I'm sure your daughter will be fine. The girl is only contagious while showing symptoms.
Just stay far away from them for a couple weeks.
Hang in. .. You're not alone.
xx

[Mrswilson1623]

Aww thank you for your reply

i am looking forward to starting EMDR therapy, maybe a new approach will benefit!

I also worry every day, who she's been with, where has she been, what has she touched, what has she eaten, has she had her hands washed enough....... It's just a constant worry!!

I also worry a lot about her picking up on my phobias, I also have a phobia of balloons! Kids parties send my anxiety to the highest level ever!!

Thank you again for your replies, lovely to hear from you all xx