emetophobia and nurturing

[japa]

Hello,


It seems to me that there is some connection between emetophobia and nurturing as a personality characteristic. I'm not really sure, but I would like to hear some other people's thoughts about my post.


To me, it seems that there is quite a concern among a number of people on this site about whether being emetophobic makes them less caring and nurturing toward other people, particularly when these others are sick. So it seems like emetophobes are constantly monitoring their level of nurturance to some ideal, perhaps unrealistic level, and then often feeling guilty for not measuring up. I wonder if other people who aren't phobic are worried about how nurturing they are to the extent that emetophobes are.


Then, there is the issue of the board itself: the majority of the posts here are made in response to people with problems in the attempt to nurture and care. So the nurturing that people fear that they don't do enough of is CONSTANTLY being enacted on this forum. This is probably the mushy gushiest forum I have ever seen, but I mean that in a nice way. People are always trying to make each other feel better on this forum.


Then, there is the fact that I believe some people might have emetophobia because they missed out on some nurturing experiences when they were children. Their parents did not nurture them enough, or so it seems when one reads about the abuse that many people experienced growing up.


I don't know; nurturing just seems to be a theme on this forum and with the phobia.


Any thoughts??

[shiva]

I only have a minute but wanted to say that in my opinion and in my situation your last paragraph hit the nail on the head.

[mommyof3]

Hey, great theory. A lot of my v* experiences (younger siblings, myself) happened when I was at my dad's house (parents divorced) and my stepmom wasn't very good with me. I can remember them making me play games with my little half sister when she was up in the night v*ing so my dad and stepmom could clean up. I HATED that. (To this day I will still not play the game Connect Four). Then for example the next night or two laterwhen I caught it, I was kinda on my own (about 10 years old). They would just go back to bed and I can remember being awake sitting in the kitchen watching the clock waiting to see when I could take my next dose of pepto


You know, I never thought about it that way. Fortunately, my emet doesn't hamper me from caringfor my children when they v*.Of anything, I think I am more attentive (but of course assoon as I am out of their sightI scrub and purell and lysol like a mad woman).

[japa]

Yuck, how awful. I can imagine how frustrated I would feel as a kid. I would feel the same way now about playing Connect Four.


This is graphic, but I have to wonder, was your half sister done being sick while you two played, or did you two have to interrupt playing while she got sick, and then she'd come back or something to play again?

Hey, great theory. A lot of my v* experiences (younger siblings, myself) happened when I was at my dad's house (parents divorced) and my stepmom wasn't very good with me. I can remember them making me play games with my little half sister when she was up in the night v*ing so my dad and stepmom could clean up. I HATED that. (To this day I will still not play the game Connect Four). Then for example the next night or two laterwhen I caught it, I was kinda on my own (about 10 years old). They would just go back to bed and I can remember being awake sitting in the kitchen watching the clock waiting to see when I could take my next dose of pepto

[mommyof3]

Oh yeah, I would have to hold the pan for her. It was bad. Then she would be fine again and play. The stupid thing is she was about 2 or 3 years old and had no clue how to play...it was just something to do with her to keep her busy! LOL! And the thing is, she and my half brother got sick A LOT as a child. **GRAPHIC**--she would always get sick on vacation. Once she v* the morning before we left and we still went on the trip anyway--in the car--and I remember her v* in a beach sand bucket the whol 7 hour drive. Another time we ate weird stuff at a luau and she got up in the night v* (we shared a bed in the hotel). My half brother once got sick all over the car on vacation and then my dad caught it that night in the hotel and never bothered to go to the bathroom to be sick--used the trash can in the hotel bed next to me. *shudder* Oh, and I also had the same thing but my emet was in full swing so I spent the whole night fighting V* and listening to my dad wretch (I just had d*). I'm kinda getting off the nurturing part of this, but I always kind of "mothered" my siblings and they were always sick, so there's gotta be a connection.


This is what is so great about this forum--I hadn't really thought about this in relation to my emet before. I had thought of another situation where I was on an amusement park ride as my "bad experience." But with that experience, I never *v, just felt queasy. I think that that was actually one of my first emet experiences and something else (like these experiences) actually is what started it. I also think that it is hardly ever one certain instance that triggers this phobia. When I'm brave enough to start therapy I will have all of this sorted out now! LOL!

[shiva]

Mommyof3.. All I can say is OH MY GOD THAT MUST HAVE SUCKED!

[japa]

ARGHHHHHHH!! Whoa....that's just WAAAAAYYYYY too much. AHHHH... holding the pan when you were little. I'm wondering who would not be affected by that in SOME way.


You're right. You were definitely made responsible for taking care of your sibs during their illnesses. That was SO not the proper job for a kid.

Oh yeah, I would have to hold the pan for her. It was bad. Then she would be fine again and play. The stupid thing is she was about 2 or 3 years old and had no clue how to play...it was just something to do with her to keep her busy! LOL! And the thing is, she and my half brother got sick A LOT as a child. **GRAPHIC**--she would always get sick on vacation. Once she v* the morning before we left and we still went on the trip anyway--in the car--and I remember her v* in a beach sand bucket the whol 7 hour drive. Another time we ate weird stuff at a luau and she got up in the night v* (we shared a bed in the hotel). My half brother once got sick all over the car on vacation and then my dad caught it that night in the hotel and never bothered to go to the bathroom to be sick--used the trash can in the hotel bed next to me. *shudder* Oh, and I also had the same thing but my emet was in full swing so I spent the whole night fighting V* and listening to my dad wretch (I just had d*). I'm kinda getting off the nurturing part of this, but I always kind of "mothered" my siblings and they were always sick, so there's gotta be a connection.


This is what is so great about this forum--I hadn't really thought about this in relation to my emet before. I had thought of another situation where I was on an amusement park ride as my "bad experience." But with that experience, I never *v, just felt queasy. I think that that was actually one of my first emet experiences and something else (like these experiences) actually is what started it. I also think that it is hardly ever one certain instance that triggers this phobia. When I'm brave enough to start therapy I will have all of this sorted out now! LOL!

[Eternity]

I cant bring myself to be nurturing towards ppl that are sick, never could, in fact i feel angry at them for making me think about that and the potential for infecting me. Strangely enough that even extends to ppl over the net. if someone on Msn SAYS they feel sick I will not want to continue talking to them.


Outside of emet stuff though I can see how that would apply in my choice of friends/ love interests. With the exception of my current boyfriend, and maybe one other ex Ive always been drawn towards people I felt I could help in some way, rather than the ones I felt on an equal level with.