What do you do when em. affects child

[staciekini20]

I am really concerened about a lot of things right now, the main one being I have a little girl that is turning 2 in less than 2 weeks....She recently got sick for the first time ever.....I freaked! My husband had to do all the dirty work and now it is hard to look at my daughter without me thinking she might look different or might get sick!! I have a severe case of emetaphobia and I don't know how I made it through the morning sickness let alone having a child....I am just really stumped on what to do because I hate being the mom that can't be there for my child when she's sick....this keeps our realtionship not as close as it should be! Please give me some advice I need it![img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img]

[madisonsmom]

Join the club. I freak when my kids are sick. I am a little better...for now. I am getting a little nervous since winter is coming.


I do take care of my kids when they are sick. I look at it as exposure therapy. My son recently v* and he is scared of it too (thanks to me)but I laid with him and rubbed his back and told him it was ok that he would feel better afterwards. I did make him feel better by comforting him.


I really dont have a big problem with my kids getting sick really, the problem I have is being scared that I will get it and wont be able to take care of them. If I get sick first I want to isolate myself so I dont spread it. Those are my fears. I dont fear v* itself, just the way you feel before it happens.

[gubba]

I'm like madisonsmom...i recently had a freak out session with my son who V*'d for an entire day every 45 minutes. I did try to comfort him, but I made my husbadn come home to help. Madisonsmom is better with that than me, but I do freak out that I will get it and who will take care of my son. It is strange that we also dislike the wonder of before V* more than actual V*. I get scared I wil get it and be crazy about worry before I V*, where will I be when I do V*, who will be there for my son?


It is difficult being and EMET and a mom, but certainly worth the stress. We all survive and the V* is such a small part of life.


I know how if feels to distance yourself from your daughter a little, but just know that she is fine now and love her and be there for her. It probably won't happen for years again. My son is an easy V*er and he can do it from swallowing wrong, pushing while pooping...he can V* so easily. I do fine with those times, but the sick times, I do go a little nutty afterwards. That's why I love this forum

[staciekini20]

thanks guys for the replys......I really feel like I freak I get to scared to hold her if her eyes get just a little glazed for fear it might mean she will v*......This phobia really does take over your entire life if you let it and I really dont know how to stop it....it does however keep me from doing things with my daughter like I would love to do ....like take her everywhere (I don't go anywhere), dance around with her with no being scared it would shake up her food too much, take her places where other kids are..........I just hope I do get better soon!

[shiva]

What I try to tell myself is just that there are a million worse things we could be to our children. For the most part we are very loving, nurturing mothers who take great care of our kids. If that's the worst thing we have, is having a hard time with helping them through sickness, then I say we are doing pretty good...???


Also, your husband is there for her at least so it's not like she is going through a sickness with no emotional support. AND, we are lucky that we only have to deal with this type of thing occasionally.


I am like you. I CANNOT help my child when she is sick. I also go through times when I beat myself up. But I suppose in time we will get there. Don't be so hard on yourself, you're only human.

[crystalmom]

I can be there for my kid when he v*, and it is VERY hard. But, he gets so upset, I have to keep telling him, it's ok, let it out. Plus, being a single mom doesn't help, I don't really have the choice. Once he is back to sleep or resting, I leave the room and totally break down. Panic attacks for days afterward. You aren't alone.


There was a time when I was like you and couldn't go anywhere. I'm glad that it was pre-child though. Please don't take this the wrong way, I mean this as lovingly and supportive as possible, but for your daughters sake, you need to get out of the house. I know how hard it is. Take someone with you who is supportive and makes you feel safe. I had a bad bought of panic earlier in the summer and I refused to go anywhere. Well, there was already a planned trip for myself, my mom, and my son to go to a car/train museum. I din't want to go. I figured I would have panic attcks the whole time. Although I was anxious at first, I forgot about it quickly, and after that I had no problems going out again. There are set backs (look at my example, and I haven't been like that for YEARS), but you can and you will get through them.


Take care of yourself, and don't worry, she's already been sick, so her immunity is up!!!!


Crystal

[smaupi]

I am not a very good mom when my kids are V*ing. however, my husband is great with that and has even stayed home from work on those days. I am, however, the best mom when they have fevers, colds, coughs, bad dreams, diaper leaks, bed wetting, the list goes on. Don't beat yourself up for not doing the best job during that one or two days, just make up for it the rest of the days. The most special things I remember from my childhood are things like laying in a hammock with my dad and making no bake cookies (yum by the way!!) with my mom. Just enjoy her, they grow up so fast!

[worriedwendy]

I agree that just because you can't handle the V* part of our childrens lives that you aren't a good parent. Some dads cannot change poopie diapers, actually I know a few moms that gag all the time with their babies diapers. So everyone has their issues they have to deal with. I too am there for my kids for everything else. I don't mind the snotty noses, gagging coughs from a cold and on and on. I don't even mind my kid V* from choking or from coughing. I am more worried about them. I just can't stand the SV's that go around and food poisoning, I am terrified of it. The past few years my kids have had diarrhea from an SV and only my oldest son, who is 8 had an sv one night and V* three times and my husband took care of it. He knows that the kids freak out more with me and exasperate the problem and he is very soothing and they don't complain and cry as much with him. With me they are crying in pain and wanting me to hold them. So because it has been awhile since they all V* (knock on wood) and my husband is going through chemotherapy (so far no V*) I am very freaked out and walking on eggshells every day and nights are worse. My 2 year old daughter woke up 6 times last night for I don't know what but each time my heart was in my throat. The one good thing about after everyone in the family is done with having the SV, usually you are all good for awhile and you don't need to worry about it as much. I hate this time of year because of it, yet I love the holidays.


I also think for me it is the anticipation of it all, when my kids tell me their tummy hurts, which is every week at some point, I go in freak out mode, I pace, keep busy, keep checking on them, we all have our little OCD rituals. When I think back to my childhood when this all started I remember it seemed like everyone made such a big deal at school when someone got sick and it seemed and embarassing moment and then I remember my sister was sick every year and it was so drama and she was so loud and violent with it. It scared me to death. As an adult it is just scary to me. My therapist asked me what is the worst that could happen? I told her that I could V* or my kids and husband would V*. I am not worried about them dying from it, I know it is over quickly. ANyways you all know what I mean. That is what I love about this site, at least we all can relate and late at night I know that I am not the only one (not that it should be comforting, I would never wish this on anyone) Yet I am grateful that this is pretty much my only issue that I battle with besides and extra 30 lbs.

[donna1216]

I have passed it in to my 5 yr old. She freaks out when she has a stomach ache, she fears others doing it as well. I feel like a terrible person!!!!

[meesh1979]

I am with you all. I feel like such a freak! I live with my boyrfriend and his daughter had the flu and gave it to everyone so far - except me. All I do is follow everyone around sanitizing everything, covering my mouth and nose so I don't breath anything in. I love that little girl to death, but I am so afraid that I will be the same way when I have my own. I want to comfort her and tell her she will be ok, but I am scared to get too close. It drives me crazy!! My boyfriend v* this morning and just got up and went to work!!! He amazes me! I wish I could be like that.