Exposure Videos?

[shiningstar]

I've been working through the exposure therapy pictures at this website http://www.achternamen.net/emetofobie/supportgroup/


I did hesitate over several but actually overall it wasn't as bad as I thought.Its not as ifI have to get to the stage of actually 'liking it'...I 'just' have to face what I've been avoiding and surprise, surprise I discoverI do actually survive! Avoiding things only feeds the fear: I'm beginning to twig this after years and years of avoiding, controlling and safety seeking!


Also I guess maybe pictures are now not too high up in on myhierachy - no noises or smells or movement to cope with -I still dread the day it happens for real - tho facing this step and surviving has given me hope thatI might slowly inch my way to coping with worse things!


I think its also true that you have to face the 'actual' triggers at the time that is right for you i.e I couldn't have faced even picturesbefore now butsomehow through the othertherapy and behavoural work I've done over the years it has hada knock on effect to the time being right to face this phobia in this way.


Anyway my real Question is thatI 'want' to move on from pictures toa video and wondered if anyone can recommend one they've used? The link to the Abassador video in Sage's 'info for therapists' doesn't seem to work.


Thanks

[shiva]

WOW! I am still overwhelmed by the fact that an emet can look at those. I am only up to like category 8 and cannot progress. Congrats on that!


Have you tried just renting movies that have vomiting scenes in them from the list?

[samara's on tv]

Yeah try renting a video that has V*ing in it. I can get through the pictures just fine and when I watch TV or Movies that has V*ing in it, I'm completely fine. The only problem I have is when someone ACTUALLY does it RIGHT in front of me. I don't know why I can watch Movies and TV when they do it but it doesn't really bother me. I know of a BUNCH of movies with V*ing in them...I posted quite a bit of information on the Film List page. If you want any suggestions on what movies have it and how graphic they are then you can PM me if you want!


~Monica

[shiningstar]

Thanks for your replies guys.


I guess I could rent a video as a next step but, gross as some of them are, I 'know' they are 'acting' so at some stageI know I 'need'to face the'for real' ones. I've seen Shawshank Redemption often enough even ifI screw my eyes up at 'that' bit. I think it really does depend what context its in.


Ican't believe l'm saying this either... even 3 weeks ago Iwouldn't even be thinking about the possibility, and the thought of sitting in a hospital for example still freaks me out ... but it just shows that when the time is rightthen it can see possible. And as I say, for me, being able to take these steps has got strong parallels to other new steps I've beentaking in life over the last few months e.g getting on buses, taking on new responsibilities,more layers of theemotional onion etc.


We are complex people - I would say start with what does feel possible... maybe with the first rung of your hierarchy, even writing out a hierarchy might be the first step if you fear the very idea! If that is the stage you are at you're notexpected to be able to handle the idea of videos... it may come in time, but for now WRITING A LIST OF FEARS/GOALS IS AS VALID A STEPIN ITS OWN RIGHT!Or any step you feel you can manage.


The important thing is tostart somewhere - anywhere - becausethe 'paralysis' that a phobia can cause in life is THE biggest block to moving forward/'living'.Just a tiny step can begin togive you some control back, instead of thephobia completely controlling you.


And just to give you hope, 10 years ago I was underweight, couldn't swallow properly, had panic attackseven thinking about going two streets out my home,I wouldn't visit other peoples houses,eat out, sit at a table for a meal, go on holiday, go in a train or a bus etc. Sure you know the kind of things!


I am far from cured - the phobia is around in every decision I make and everythingI do and there are still lots of things I avoid but I'm working on it and Ido havesomequality of life and some tools to not let the fear always dictate.


I'm gladI found this site cos its spurred me on - really hope you all can take one small stepthat's right for youtoday!

[sage]

I wouldn't assume necessarily that the movies have "acting" in them. Some do, but many nowadays are people actually vomiting (I wonder what they have to pay you to do that!)


An obvious example is "Jackass" where there are three actual vomit scenes, which, believe it or not, is not the worst part of that movie. There is a (sound-only) scene at the very opening of Monster's Ball where the Billy Bob Thornton character goes to the bathroom. Apparently the sound is of another "actor" actually vomiting.


There is also the idea that instead of convincing yourself that it's acting, do the exact opposite. TRY to convince yourself that it's real, and even that it's you. This will help get your anxiety up. The trick is to have it get up high enough to get results, but not so high that you are overwhelmed with fear (which only makes the phobia worse).

[kel12347]

I didn't know that some of the movie characters are really vomiting (with the exception of Jackass, of course. I'm only on step 2 of my hierarchy, so it'll be a while before I see them, but that's interesting to know. I should have had someone videotape my ipecac experience. I could have made enough money to pay for all my therapy. lol

[shiningstar]

I didn't know the 'acting' was sometimes real in these films either, wow! Why would anyone to that for a job?!
Sage.. can you say a bit more about imaging its real and why raising your anxiety is part of the process. Surely we have enough anxiety without artificially raising it? If we find we can cope OK with 'acting' v*ing then would the next step not be to rejoice in that and move on to the next step of the hierachy?
Also I think you said somewhere to stare at pictures (or whatever) until we are thoroughly bored with them rather than just being able to 'cope' with it (which is a big step in itself). I can kinda see the point i.e to get to the point where it doesn't stir any reaction in us at all. But with this particular phobia no one 'likes' V* even folk without a phobia, so is it really necessary/realistic to get 'bored' with it? What about the 'normal disgust reation?
Be glad to know your thoughts.

[sage]

Wow - lots of questions, and they are all excellent. I'll try to go through them one at a time, because the brain can indeed be tricky.


1) Why would anyone vomit for a job? Because they are paid millions, and aren't afraid of vomiting! Actors do all sorts of vile, disgusting and dangerous things. So do stunt men. Sometimes the vomit-ers may be stunt men!


2) Re: enough anxiety without artificially raising it... The key here is to keep your anxiety high enough to re-train your brain, but not so high that you're retraumatized. On a scale of 0-10 where 0 is no anxiety and 10 is far too overwhelming to stay in the situation, you don't want it to ever get above 7. For some, once it gets to about 5 it zooms to 10 in a millesecond, so then you would want to only work in the lower range. Once a numbing or freezing response happens, or dissociation from reality, you're in the 9-10 range as well, even though you may not "feel" it as much. Numb, frozen, dissociative responses are NON-PRODUCTIVE in exposure therapy.


3) Some phobics (myself included) can look at all the pictures and even video and say they're fine with it, because they are not non-anxious, but rather they are frozen. This numbing effect is a way they've convinced their brains that the thing isn't real, so it isn't scary. However if they thought it were real, they'd be scared sh**less. So if this applies to you, and you breeze through the pictures with "no anxiety", then you have to figure out of you're in fact frozen. Actually, this is your therapist's job but who's counting... Going back and ensuring you have LOOKED at the picture with every thought imaginable, including the most anxiety-inducing thing in your head is very important before moving on to the next picture.


4) there is indeed a normal disgust reaction to vomit. It's inbred in us as humans, and thoroughly instinctive. However, medical people can get over this and so can we. Some low-level disgust may still linger, but really, I promise you I can look at any picture of puke in the universe and not feel one bit of disgust. I regularly check myself on the nasty vomit website. If too much time goes by, I will get some disgust reaction, but if I keep doing it I won't. Remember that it's the disgust factor you deeply fear: if I see vomit, I'll be so disgusted I WILL vomit. That's what your brain is saying - which isn't true - so you need to work through that.


Good luck!

[shiningstar]

Thanks Sage for answering these questions so helpfully.

Just to come back to you on one or two things. On your second point do you think it’s a common thing that all emetophobics ‘disassociate’? I don’t think I do in the sense that I can remember what happens and I don’t feel ‘frozen’ i.e I will always feel panic if a situation is threatening. But it is true that my panic can escalate in certain situations in a split second and I was wondering if that will get better with exposure therapy and positive self talk? I know in your story, Sage, you had to used EMDR to open up a bit of time to get the positive talk ‘in’, as it were. If I’m ‘lucky enough’ to not be disassociating then I guess I already have a bit of time to get some rational thought in. But the trouble is when the panic is bad, it wins and the rationality loses and I’m outta there! So I’m a bit stuck as to how I can use the gap so that I can ‘choose’ to stay in situations rather than running from them.

Here’s an example – not too graphic - I was on the bus the other day (still quite a new achievement for me) and a woman looked kinda pale and ill. I immediately thought ‘she’s feeling sick’ and I could feel myself tense up and begin to panic. The panic was low enough to be able to tell myself ‘hey what are the chances – very, very low’ and so I persuaded myself that it was a complete waste of emotional energy to panic about the ‘what ifs’. So I stayed on the bus. BUT if that had been a situation where I definitely knew someone was feeling sick, then I would not be able to control the panic and would ‘have’ to get out.

A few years ago I would not have even dared go into any public situation where someone might possibly be feeling sick. So actually staying on the bus and talking myself out of the panic is progress for me. Do you think the same thing might begin to happen with ‘actual’ incidences where the threat is more real/imminent? I’m hoping so and I’m hoping the exposure therapy will help with this.

Your point 4 Sage above, where you say we fear we might be so disgusted that WE will v* too. I’m not sure if that’s how it is for me. I don’t know what I fear about it but I don’t think its that. I think for some reason – I’ve yet to discover what – v* has a fear around it that isn’t actually anything to do with the v* as such but I have come to associate 'it' with something mega scary. As I say I don’t know what it is but feel that if I could break that fear association then things would be a lot better. I don’t mind ‘not liking it’ – cos that’s normal - I just don’t want to be phobic!

<FONT face="Tim

[sage]

I think you've raised some good self-reflective points and you're not off-base with any of them. Dissociating is a very high and severe stage of the phobic response. If you're not experiencing that, that's good. You're right - more "room" to insert positive cognitions.


And yes, you may not fear anything anymore. It may just be an "old" brain response. So exposure should work very well.