Update and question

[lewisr]

Friends,



It's been just over a week since my new psychiatrist started me on
Xanax and as hesitant as I was to go on drugs of any kind, there has
been a marked improvement in my panic attacks. I was even able to go up
to the country and have several meals out this weekend. The Xanax does
not do anything for the worry or the phobia itself, but it does make
the panic more manageable.



I do not, however, like my psychologist. He thinks I am "luxuriating"
in the panic. Whatever. One more session before I find someone else.



As good as I was doing, the entire street outside my office today
smells like v*. There is no doubt that is what it is. I assume from
amateur drinkers last night due to Halloween.



HOWEVER: can I get a sv this way? What if one of the drunks happened to
also have a sv coincidentally? I know the particles can become
aerosolized but would they have dissipated by 9am this morning from
last night? I had to use doorknobs of neighboring businesses, etc -
what do you think??



Please let me know your thoughts.



Thanks,

Lewis

[raindrop]

Firstly, no, viruses do not last that long outside the
body, you'll be fine. It's highly unlikely that
anyone *was* out with a SV - you usually feel headachy/stomach
achy too, so they'd be in bed, not celebrating hallowe'en! It's
too much of a coincidence that it's hallowe'en: copious sweets
and booze do not happy stomachs make! Also, I think
that fox urine (where I live anyway) smells SO much like v*, so it
could just be that.



Secondly, I sympathise with you over your therapist. Mine reacted
similarly. She said the phobia was my way of getting my mother's
attention, and I enjoyed the panic because it meant that I didn't have
to take responsibility for my health, or my feelings and emotions. She
also believed that my fear of v* was subsconsciously linked to my fear
of people's reactions over my sexuality - like the v* coming out
uncontrollably, was like my "secret" coming out uncontrollably.
She encouraged me to come out of the closet (because she said my phobia
would disappear) and when my parents reacted VERY badly she told me I
had to see it from my mother's perspective. Helpful, eh?



Glad the Xanax is making you feel better. I've been thinking of
going back on my anti-anxiety drugs, especially as the approaching
winter is doing my head in.



Sending you good wishes. [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

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[tayda]

Nope, viruses need a host to survive... they don't last long without one. I learned about this a while ago.. (but don't really remember..I think it has something to do w/ the protein and that the virus needs DNA from the host).. I don't know.. don't listen to me on that... but I know you'll be fine. I think we've all had similar experiences w/ v* and panicked about getting a sv*.


As for both of you, I would find a new therapist! Mine is very understanding, and instead of just telling me what the problem is, we've been trying to figure it out together. I mean, I know that we don't like hearing things we don't want to hear, but your stories seem a bit harsh. I wouldn't want to go back either. I hope you are both doing well


Tayda

[lewisr]

Thank you for your responses.



My next appointment with my psychiatrist is on Saturday. I am really
frightened that he is going to take away my Xanax prescription - which
would be devistating. Do you think he would generally allow me more
time than this (it would just be two weeks) or is Xanax strictly a
short-term thing? For this past week, I almost feel as though I have my life back.



The psychological talk therapy piece has NOT worked yet - I plan to ask
for a referral to a different psychologist at that Saturday appointment.



Thanks again,

Lewis


Edited by: lewisr

[japa]

You should probably try to get a referral to a talk therapy psychologist who specializes in cognitive/behavioral therapy if the person you're seeing doesn't.


I would imagine that you would be given the xanax for longer than two weeks. The psych. probably just wants to make sure it's working and thus is seeing you back in two weeks to find out.


However, what on earth does it mean to luxuriate in the panic? Is the psych suggesting that it is a pleasant experience for you somehow??? It's probably a good idea to ditch this person. Of course, before I did, I would tell him that I did not understand what he was talking about (unless you do in fact get it) and that regardless of whether he presumes that you are luxuriating, you find the panic an unpleasant experience and would like to get rid of it.

Thank you for your responses.

My next appointment with my psychiatrist is on Saturday. I am really frightened that he is going to take away my Xanax prescription - which would be devistating. Do you think he would generally allow me more time than this (it would just be two weeks) or is Xanax strictly a short-term thing? For this past week, I almost feel as though I have my life back.

The psychological talk therapy piece has NOT worked yet - I plan to ask for a referral to a different psychologist at that Saturday appointment.

Thanks again,
Lewis

Edited by: japa

[lewisr]

However, what on earth does it mean to
luxuriate in the panic? Is the psych suggesting that it is a pleasant
experience for you somehow???</font>

Yeah, that's why I think that the relationship between this PhD and I
is over. I am being VERY cautious to be open to what the therapist has
to say and NOT shoot the messenger, because my method of thinking
thusfar has not worked. However, I think "luxuriate in the panic" may
have been over the line. He thinks I may be "bragging" about how bad
consequences could be for me.



Clearly, he does not get it.



I truly hope I am permitted to continue on the Xanax for a while
longer, until I am able to get into a groove with a good therapist.
It's doing its job so well in that it doesn't make me feel "good" but
it does help me feel able to do "normal" things, if that makes sense.



At the moment, I am having twinges of n* that would otherwise be a
full-fleged panic attack. It's not a magic bullet, but it helps me stay
within reality and not over-catastrophize the situation.



I was very disheartened by my talk therapy experiences thusfar. If
anyone has a good behavioral psychologist in the Washington area, I'd
greatly appreciate a referral.



Best,

Lewis

[japa]

I'll preface this with an apology because I tend to analyze issues through the lens of gender, so sorry.


My thought is that bragging is such a masculinized term in that I think we tend to imagine that it is customary for men to brag and more of an exception for women. So I wonder if your therapist would have suggested to a woman with severe panic that she was bragging about it. In other words, I think that he could be behaving in a sexist way to you.


Oh well, that's my $.02

However, what on earth does it mean to luxuriate in the panic? Is the psych suggesting that it is a pleasant experience for you somehow???

Yeah, that's why I think that the relationship between this PhD and I is over. I am being VERY cautious to be open to what the therapist has to say and NOT shoot the messenger, because my method of thinking thusfar has not worked. However, I think "luxuriate in the panic" may have been over the line. He thinks I may be "bragging" about how bad consequences could be for me.

Clearly, he does not get it.

I truly hope I am permitted to continue on the Xanax for a while longer, until I am able to get into a groove with a good therapist. It's doing its job so well in that it doesn't make me feel "good" but it does help me feel able to do "normal" things, if that makes sense.

At the moment, I am having twinges of n* that would otherwise be a full-fleged panic attack. It's not a magic bullet, but it helps me stay within reality and not over-catastrophize the situation.

I was very disheartened by my talk therapy experiences thusfar. If anyone has a good behavioral psychologist in the Washington area, I'd greatly appreciate a referral.

Best,
Lewis

[kel12347]

Definitely dump the talk therapist....he obviously has no clue. I personally would rather bang my head into a pole than have a panic attack, I'm certainly not luxuriating in it (imagining myself in a bubble bath.....aaahhhh this panic is sooooo wonderful....what a crock). I assume you feel the same way.


As for the Xanax, it is a benzodiazepene, and they can be addictive if taken at high doses for long periods of time. Discuss the issue with your psychiatrist, and see if keeping you on Xanax is okay, or if they would like to try a longer acting benzo, like Klonopin, or maybe an SSRI.