Ruining relationship..

[icicledreamz]

Ihave been with the same guy for over 2 years, i was with him before i have emet...then it came, and now i feel like im losing him, and he will find someone better..thats goes out more..and doesnt sit in the house all day and feels sick all the time..i really dont want to lose him..i love him alot..but i just feel like my emet is the reason why we have been argueing and having problems lately..i mean he understands what emet is and i talk to him about it..and he tells me he loves me and it doesnt change anything, but deep inside i feel like it is the reason..i just dont know what to do..i just feel so horrible that i cant go out and do the things i use to with him, and enjoy life together. Ilove being with him but it seems like our relationship is fading all because of this..i just want things to go back to the way they were before i had emet...anybody have any advice for me? it would be greatly appreciated. thanxx xoxo

[tink]

Hey..

I am so sorry that you are going through a rough time with your guy. I know this sounds way too simple, but maybe try telling him exactly what you wrote. Tell him that you feel like emet is causing alot of problems between the 2 of you, and that you really want to make it better. Tell him why you feel so strongly about this, and it is really important to you that you make everything OK again.

I have had this feeling with my boyfriend as well, and I kept pushing the issue with him. It turned out that he didnt want to discuss a personal issue with me because he didnt want to cause any more stress in my life. So he just dealt with the issue on his own. I told him that he means the world to me and that I really needed him to know that I would be there for him as much as he had always been for me. That he could always depend on me, no matter what was going on in my life. (unless of course v* was involved) Blech.

So what I am trying to say is that maybe he has something else that is troubling him and doesnt want to worry you while you are going through your own issues. Just keep your communication completely open and you guys will be fine. He sounds like a great guy, sometimes they just need pushed a little to talk.

Oh, and I am just curious. Did you have an event that triggered your emet? Sounds like it just came on pretty recently?

Take Care,
--Kim

[icicledreamz]

thanx so much for your reply..i talk to him about it sometimes, but its like he doesnt want to listen..and yes it seems like i did have a tramatizing event...about 2 and a half years ago..i did quite a bit of drugs(crystal meth)..and i was walking throught this field alone it was a hot summer day and i guess i was dehydrated or somthing, and i started v* and shaking and i was hallucinating..it was a reall scarey expirience..(i do not do drugs anymore)..everytime i would sit down i would not v*, but when i got up again i would, back then i didnt really mind v*, cuz i did not have emet..but it was just really scarey cause i thought i was over dosing, and i was all alone which made it worse, all i kept thinking to myself was i needed to get home..so i got the stength to get up and start walking again..finally made him home..and then everything was fine..my emet didnt come for about 6 months later n it just hit suddenly i didnt know what was wrong, and i was always feeling sick, and stopped doing the things i loved to do..i even dropped out of school..and im paying for that now which sucks..i gotta go to school in like 15 mins (i go to night classes).and i always dread it cause i have anxiety and it is really hard to get myself to go..plus the emet makes me always think of what if i v*?...you know what feeling..its horrible..but i try my best to get things done..anyways yea that is my story..


how bout you.do you have a story about how you got emet? i would like to hear it


Thanx lotss[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]and wish me luck for school..

[ontariogirl]

I have no idea why I have this phobia, it just happened.
About relationships. When I was a teen I had boyfriends and when the panic attacks hit me I acted like a nut and that was it he was gone. Through out my adulthood I didn't know I had a phobia, I just thought I was a weirdo with a huge heart willing to love. In my 20's I took up alcohol (beer) feeling no pain when I drank, and the feeling of belonging fit in. I drank because of the phobia, I felt like I was a part of the crowd, the friends who I hung around with. The father of my youngest son had no idea about this phobia. I kept this a secret. Later on I married my friend of 10 years, the marriage lasted maybe just over a year and he had no idea. I met a guy who treated me like a princess and I would go places with him, sure the phobia would hit and I would hide my pressures. I quit drinking because it was affecting my custody/support of my child. My kids were more important than that bottle of beer. I would get drunk and vomit and I was so blitzed that I didn't care but the next morning was hell.When I found out about the phobia, I basically went public with it and didn't give 2 hoots what people thought. After being on a radio station about this I sat down with my man and explained to him what is wrong with me. Of course he doesn't 100% understand he knows about it so when I am feeling sick he knows not to bother me, I need to be by myself. He is very supportive towards me and I thank him for that. Now that it has been 6 years that I haven't had a beer I learned to hit this phobia head on. As far as my relationship its the best! It has been 6 years, I could never see myself with anyone else but him. I am my own person but its great that I can share my highs and lows with him.

[brina85]

why is it that all emets always feel sick im the same way and my husband says why are u always sick to your stomach is it all in are heads

[icicledreamz]

i think its cause they worry so much about it, and think about it so much that it makes them feel sick, i am pretty sure it is in our heads becuase when i keep myself busy and not think about it, it seems to go away..i hate itt

[tink]

Oh my... That is a really scary experience!I can see that really bringing on emet. You really could tie v* to dying. I would have been horrified as well. I am happy you made it through OK, and at least it caused you to give up the drugs. That is a good thing, and you know that will never be in that situaton agian. At least you can logically know that as a truth, and use that fact to help you be brave.

I have had this affiction as long as I can remember, unfortunately. All I know is that I have always been horrified of being sick, and I havent v*ed in 23 years. I dont even remember what it is like, and dont care to. I wish I had at least a clue as to why I am the way I am, but I guess that is not going to happen.

Ontario Girl.. Your story is horrible too. But I am so happy that everything finally turned around for you. SOunds like you have some great support, and you have given up the booze. That is a wonderful thing. Dealing with this crap sober will make a huge difference.

Take care of yourselves girls,
--Kim

[fifitrixibell]

ARGGGGH i can totally relate to you. What you wrote sounds exactly like what i would have said. Recently i have been feeling sick to my stomach so much that i can hardly go out...On good days we have a lot of fun but on bad days i just refuse to do anything and say 'im sick' Im tired of saying i feel sick all the time, because the average person feels sick hardly ever and i think the phrase is starting to tire with him. Anyway, i guess my advice is talk to him about it, open up to him etc and if he doesnt accept you for who you are, then hes not worth it. I for one need my bf to be considerate of my needs because when im feeling ill, i feel a lot better if i know he is there for me.


xxx