My story...

[icicledreamz]

i have had thisPhobiafor a few years now,and it makes my life a living hell..it ruins my life... and its ruining my relationship..i think it all started one day when i was walking through this field on this really hot summer day, that day i did alot of drugs..(dont do them anymore thank god..)..and i had no water and was really dehydrated..and i started v*ing..and did for a while..and i was so scared because i thought iwas overdosing..and i was all alone which made it worse..then i finally i got home and i was fine..the phobia came onabout 6 months later..all of a sudden..i was missing school..couldnt hardely leave my house..and it sucks because i see all my friends out having fun and im all cooped up in my house scared to go out cuz all i think about is what is i start V*ing?..or start feelin sick..what would i do?..i hate that feeling..somedays are good and i dont feel nauseous at all...other days are the worst days i have ever felt..sometimes i just sit and cry cuz i feel like im losing my life..and i just feel like an idiot beacause nobody understand me and thinks im crazy..but it it really real..and i am astonished to find that there are other people like me out there who go through this everyday..truely it is a really hard thing to do...i just want things to back to normal.


Is there a way to get rid of this that actually works?..or has anyone actually gotten through this..i would really appreciate peoples thoughts...or posts. thanx[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[mitch04133]

Hi and welcome. This site has been a savior for me. The wonderful friens I have met here have gotten me through such rough tims when no when else could even understand. I have been a member here for a while, and I don't know what I would do without it.

Anyway, I have been scared to v* since I was little, I am 27 now, and my phobia was at its worse this past year. I lost over 20lbs and got down to 89lbs cause I was so scared to at cause I might get food poisoning. I was obessed with washing my hands, I would NEVER eat out. It affected my relationships and the only one who knew about my fear was my then boyfriend. Needless to say he wasn't very supportive and was very abusive. I have also gone through 3 surgeries since last November. I was diagnosed with have a obsructed kidney. And one of the symptoms was v*, although I haven't done so to this day. It was scary to go through all of that, but I got one more surgey and it should be corrected.

I have come along way since 7 months ago. I have gained back weight, I am now 108lbs! I am no longer scared to eat. I eat meat every night just about, but I still won't touch chicken. I have gone on weekwnd trips, and I am even starting a new job this Thursday. I wouldn't consider myself cured, but I have been able to manage my phobia with positive thinking and self realization. One day I decided that I will not this run and ruin my life. I picked up a fork and forced myself to eat. I made myself go out, eat without washing my hands. When didn't think I could go anymore I pushed harder until I realized I probably won't v* and I haven't.

The best advice I can give is don't give up. Go see a therapist, start medicaton. Do whatever is necessary just don't let this phobia win. Good luck and welcome.

Michele

[mitch04133]

Sorry...double posted

MicheleEdited by: mitch04133