just need to talk

[sonshine3]

I dont even know where to begin though. I read alot of posts and there are so many things I relate to. I am terrified! I feel like a failure as a Mom. I just want to leave my house and get as far away from everyone as I can. My son wants to cuddle and I dont even want him to touch me. I cant stop staring at him and asking him if his belly still hurts and yet I dont want anything to do with him. I dont want to eat, I dont want anyone else to eat. I Hate This!!!

[bexcelica]

that sounds like a lot of us. in no way are you a failure as a mom. i
am not a mom so i dont know how you are feeling, but i bet its not very
good. think of the good things you have done with your son rather than
fret over the bad.

[gubba]

I'm a mom and I can totally relate. I do the same thing and it is awful. I am going to talk to someone on Monday. I am 41 with a 3 year old and I panic daily. The pediatrician told me last week when I went because he was really sick, that I need to lower my anxiety or I will ruin his life. I made the decision right then that I would not do that, so I made an appointment and I am going to see a woman on Monday morning about this anxiety about my child always being sick and he rarely is. I don't think I am a bad mom, but I know that I do not want to ruin his life. I have learned to manage this emet thing as best I can for me, but I do not want him to ever be like this.. I do not wish this on my worst enemy.


I am scared about this adventure that I will be taking, but I know it is best for my son and husband and hopefully me. I have been an EMET my whole life and I am ready to get rid of this and put it behind me. I need to do all I can to be more of a mom. I do a lot more than I think that I can. Last week he did V* and I cleaned up and did rub his back. I can't cuddle, but I do what I can. I am trying very hard to get past this, and I hope I can.


You are not a bad mom. Recognizing that you have a problem is the hard part and makes you great. Finding this site will make all the difference in the world to you and the support here is unbelievable. All of us understand exactly what you are going through. Stay strong and do not ever think you are a bad mom. It is very hard and you can do this.

[boost]

i am alot like you I do read alot of posts and there are so many things
I relate to and i know now that i am a EMET but i dont think you´r a
bad mother you just have this problem like as far as i know all of us
here do but i really don´t know much about this but i´m really glad
that i found this site it looks like everyone here are very good
persons and help each other (by the way i´m brand new to this site) but
seriously don´t think of your self as a bad mother and what gubba sayd
really had a good point... just one question tough to the rest of
you do you guys talk much and build up any communications other than
just the forum???? just wondering becouse it´s pretty scary that i read
the post here but am to shy to post myself and it´s even hard for me to
write this down (erased it couple of times) but sonshine3 listen to
what they say your not a bad mom you just have this problem

[oibird]

i think if your a far greater mother than you realise, to be so afraid
of something and still be able to help your child in this situation is a
very big thing! im a mother of 10yr old daughter and i have felt the
same as you for sure, its heart wrenching to not be able to cuddle
your child when they feel so bad but we do the best we can, my
daughter now kinda understands my phobia and i just have to
constantly tell her that although im afraid of this im also aware that
there really is nothing to be afraid of, she's very grown up about it
now (probably more so than me) if we can teach our children that
there is nothing to fear even when we ouselves are afraid then
maybe they will be able to understand and deal with so many
situation in life a little better! i hope that made sense.. [img]smileys/smilies_05.gif[/img]

[sage]

I think it was the Muppets or some old show called "Fraggle Rock" where one character sang a song: "there'll be time enough for blame later". I always remind myself of this. It's not about BLAME. You should not blame yourself, because you can't help the fact that you're a phobic. However it IS about responsibility, which is what gubba's paediatrician was talking about. As a mother, you are not to blame. But you are responsible for your son's life, and emotional health as well. The way to take responsibility is to pay any price and sacrifice anything to get yourself treated for this, so that you can function better as a mom. Not wanting to hold or be near your child WILL indeed be damaging for him. Get that fixed! (There is good treatment available, including medication, as well as therapy). The "Treatments" section of thisforum has excellent information, help and support.