Opinion: henious or justified?

[chicajojobe]

Just a warning, this post is rated PG-13.



Last night I was dozing to the tv because it helps me get to sleep when
I'm having trouble and usually my roommate doesn't come back on
Thursday. Well at about midnight she did and brought a guy with her.
Both of them were obviously a little drunk. After a very perfunctory
introduction they climbed up into her bed and I just stayed there
watching tv trying to ignore the wet smacking sound from the other side
of the room. We hadn't discussed how we'd handle a situation like this
so I felt a bit awkward. Plus another problem came up in that I find it
hard to relax when it's just her there so with her and some strange guy
I started feeling a panic attack coming. I tried to do put on my iPod
and headphones to drown out the noise and go to sleep. Well it didn't
work because the panic kept getting worse until I felt like I was
gagging and just had to get up.



I left the room and after calming down I sat out in the common area on
our hall and watched the tv there. After an hour passed I figured I'd
done what was required of roommate etiquette. I gave them an hour.



Well it evidently wasn't enough because when I went back in it was
obviously during a crucial moment if you know what I mean. By then I
didn't feel awkward at all though because I decided that it wasn't my
problem what I interruped. So I just slid back into my bed and actually
started to relax for the fist time since she came back. One by one they
went to the bathroom and then had a mini-conversation by the door. She
was all groaning and saying that this was the worst most awkward
situation she'd ever been in and call me sadist but I was thrilled to
hear it! Last night had not been a good night for me to put up with
that because I have a test today, so if I'm going to be tired and
miserable today then they deserve to be too!



Anyway they eventually climbed back into her bed and went to sleep. I
could not sleep of course though so I read on my laptop for a while. I
finally dropped off at about 3:30 and I'm pretty tired now that it's
morning. My test isn't until 2 though so hopefully I'll be more alert
by then.



I feel like I should feel a little guilty but I really have zero
sympathy for her! She brought it on herself because she didn't discuss
with me before hand how we'd handle it. If it had been a few hours
earlier and if she'd mentioned it to me before she went out I could
have like gone to see a movie or something.

I didn't even do the worst thing I could have. If I'd been a real
tattle tale I could have told the RA and had his ass thrown out.



What do you guys think am I a total bitch or was what I did understandable?


Edited by: chicajojobe

[babygap5]

You aren't a bitch, but, this is something that you need to talk over with her. It's always hard adjusting to living with someone who isn't a family member, and these things happen. Just sit down with her and try to come up with some sort of alert system or compromise so that you are both satisfied. If you need help, ask your RA, he/she will be able to help mediate the situation. Good luck.

[chicajojobe]

Dude I know what to do. We talked about how we'd handle the various
issues and we decided that there were too many to sit down and plan out
right away so we'd discuss them when they came up. Well that was the
problem, she didn't discuss it she just brought this guy back and I
guess expected me to know how to react.



And btw there is no way I'm bringing my RA into this.

[shiva]

Well, she has to respect the fact that you live there too. You have to be able to be comfortable. I think that when someone decides to be doing that stuff in a place where others live, it is on them to deal with the embarrassing consequences that could take place. I think you were awesome to give them the hour alone, they should have hurried it up Can't they go to his place? I don't think you should at all feel bad, but I think they should. I know that is an uncomfortable situation to be in and I am sorry you're having to deal with that. It's not fun to sit around listening to other people do it!


But I would definitely sit down and explain to her that things have to be figured out for future situations such as this. At least set down a rule about weeknights since you have class and exams and such. Maybe weekends should be another story (then you could always find somewhere else to hang out maybe if this turns into a trend) but weeknights should be off limits to s*** like that. (that's just my oppinion)

[babygap5]

Hey chica, no need to be snippy like that. I was just offering up my opinion. And the suggestion for getting your RA involved is that, being a former RA myself, we are given extensive training in how to deal with roommate issues like this. Your roommate might be so peeved that she might not want to talk to you and might be very unwilling to compromise.

[2jo2]

Eww.... the fact that this girl can have sex with someone else in the room sort of shows her character (IMHO), especially when it doesn't sound like you knew the girl before. Personally I think that she should have found somewhere else to have sex.... to put you in the situation isn't cool.

[bexcelica]

I think you did the right thing. You were out of the room for an hour..
And she didn't say anything to yu at all about the situation. She
shouldnt expect you to leave your room for 3 or 4 hours when youhave a
test the next day. I completely think you dd the right thing. She
mayhave been upset, but you guys just need to talk about the sitation
in case it happens again.

[tayda]

How did she expect u to react? I don't know what I would do, so I think you handled it pretty well. I'm sure she'll think twice or at least call ahead at a decent hour before she does it again. (Though then again, alcohol tends to detach people from their sense or reality sometimes).