Emetophobia

[jules]

I'm trying to find proper info about this. My child has been in hospital for 5 weeks and is still on feeding tube at night. I want to learn about it so I can at least feel I can contribute. She is 10. Can anyone help? Thanx Jules

[shiva]

I am confused. What's going on with your daughter?

[kel12347]

If you're concerned your daughter has emetophobia, go to the "treatments" forum, and read the Sticky posts at the top, such as "Info for professionals" by Sage. It will give lots of info and tips.

[gubba]

Is she on a feeding tube because she won't eat for fear of being sick? Definitely go to the home page and get to the thing called sticky posts. It will give you some great info as to what this is all about.

[bexcelica]

Oh man, gubba I hope you arre wrong about her daughter.



What is exactly wrong with your daughter? I hope everything is okay.

[spilled_milk]

I hope everything is okay! Why is your daughter on the feeding tube? To learn more about emetophobia, as kel said, go to the treatments form, and there will be all you ever wanted to know.


Please keep us updated!


<3 Anya--

[s0ccer_princess]

I agree with what everyone has said so far, I really do hope she is alright too!

If she has emetophobia, basically it means she has, like everyone else here, a fear of being sick. It comes in different forms, sometimes the person is scared only of themselves being sick, whereas other people are scared of people other than themselves being sick too. It is also not unheard of for people to be hospitalised for not eating due to fear of being sick sadly, if that is what your daughter has.

Go to the forum entitled Treatments. It will give you a lot of useful information. We're also all here for you, if you need any advice, or you have any questions you want answered.

Good luck, I hope your daughter is alright!

xxxxxxxx

[jules]

Thank you all for your support & suggestions. It just seems that most of what I've looked at (not what you've suggested yet) deals with adults. Had a 3 hr outing with her today and u wouldn't believe it - first thing we saw was a child who'd just v* everywhere. Jeepers, that put paid to our outing. The feeding tube is to give her all the nutrients she's missing out on - vicious circle - eat possibly v* don't eat more turned off by the thought of eating. Will welcome any more handy suggestions and will go to the home page site now. Thanx again. Jules

[hollyjean]

Hi Jules, i feel so sorry for your daughter as i know what she is going through. When i was 11 i became anorexic through the idea that if i didnt eat, i couldnt be sick. The hunger pains became a comfort to me. When i didnt eat for a long time, then did, it would make my stomach hurt and me feel sick reinforcing the fear. The was a time when i ran across a busy road and was nearly run over from a lorry just because someone on the path began coughing, my phobia was very bad back then.


Im 19 now and have recovered from the anorexia, although i do replapse at times. My phobia is much better now, but i am still a very long way from being cured.


Although this site is mainly adults, there are many younger people here, i believe there are a few 14 year olds. I have been in your daughters situation, if you ever want to talk just pm me.

[gubba]

JULES,


Almost all of us have had this since we were her age, we just had no clue what it was. Be glad you at least know what it is and you can get her help.


It is a vicious cycle and we all totally understand what she is experiencing even though you must view it is crazy. I wish there was an easy way to explain this feel to people, but I can't and the info on this site should help a lot. Give your daughter the site info if you think it would make her feel better and certainly let her post on here if you think that that would be helpful. I know that finding out that others truly knew what this felt like was a great help for me.


GOOD LUCK

[kel12347]

Jules, although most of the info deals with adults, the majority of emets manifest this disorder as children first. Mine started around your daughter's age. Definitely get her a therapist, and talk about the best way to go about things, and whether exposure therapy would be appropriate for one so young. When I was 15, I quit eating, because I thought if I did not eat, I couldn't get sick. It's not true! I ended up at 5'6" and 85 pounds over that. If you don't eat, you can still vomit, it will just be bile, and probably more painful. Whenever my anxiety gets really bad, the first thing to go to hell is my eating, even now. It's something most emets struggle with.


As far as finding a therapist, here are my suggestions, First, find someone who works with kids, and one who has experience with anxiety disorders in children. Most importantly, find someone who is just plain nice and open-minded, and willing to listen to whatever you or your daughter suggest. My therapist now tells me, "It's your treatment, you can do whatever you want, unless I feel that it's going to hurt you in some way. Even if I think that, we will still discuss the issue before making a decision." This way, I'm pretty much running my own treatment, with my therapist along for support and processing issues, because I know far more about the disorder then she ever could (even though she had previously suffered from an anxiety disorder - that, however, helps my treatment, b/c she understands at least part of where I am coming from).


Next, go to the Treatments Forum and print out the sticky posts (the green folders at the top), especially the info for professionals and anything else you may find helpful. Sage is our miracle here, she has been completely cured of this phobia, and has written a very helpful article. Also, if you Yahoo Search "emetophobia FAQ" you will find an FAQ on a Bravepages website. It's a pretty good FAQ, but it doesn't get into treatments much. It does have a section about children though. When you go to see the therapist, bring all of this information with you, request that they read it and that you and your daughter would like to discuss it with him/her. (This'll make sure they read it). Also, you may want to have your daughter read it, if she's able (there are two reasons I say that: 1) she may be too afraid to read it, and 2) the word "vomit" is written out in both these articles, and she may be afraid of the word - again, a lot of emets are). If she can't read it, maybe you can read it and summarize it for her, using whatever euphemism she's most comfortable with.


Anyway, I hope the little novel I just wrote helps your daughter. I wish I could have gotten help at that age. Get her the help she needs now, so she doesn't need to suffer from this for years. Good luck to both of you.

[sillygirl]

Jules,


I really don't have much more to add. Everyone seems to be coving everything pretty well. I just wanted to say how happy I am that you are identifying this now and trying to get her help. I think a lot of us wouldn't be where we are today if our parents had realized the severity of the phobia and gotten us to seek help before it got to this point. I hope your daughter gets better soon. Keep us posted and let us know if there is any other information we can give you.

[ontariogirl]

Please keep us posted, my heart goes out to you and your daughter.

[gubba]

What a great mom you are for trying to better understand this thing. I know that most parents think that we are nuts and dismiss it like it is nothing.

[gumdropper1]

Kelly, the Emetophobia FAQ is no longer on bravepages. It's here: http://faq.emetophobia.net


Best,


Doug

[kel12347]

Thanks for the correction, Doug. I printed it out to give to my therapist, but haven't looked it up lately.

[jules]

Thank you all so much for your help and support. Naturally as a Mum I'm going thru total guilt at having done things wrong. Have been to the site and will print it out for Chelsea. Actually, when she next comes home, I'll show her all of your messages 'cause I think they are all so supportive and helpful. She's only 10 but a very deep little soul & will see them for what they are - true feelings from you people who have been thru this and really care. Will come back on-line tomorrow after reading all messages. Thank you all so much - I take what you say to heart. Jules

[bexcelica]

also, send her on here! we would all be more than willing to talk to her or answer questions, or basically just tell her shes not alone.

[jules]

Hi all & thanks so much for your messages of support. To personally answer some of your messages (you;ll pick up who I'm talking to) I just cannot believe that any parent would consider their child as nuts when the child is so obviously ill - be this mental or physical (my was diagnosed with a "virus" which I now know was completely wrong. When I finally "spat the dummy" & rang the hospital everything started to happen really quickly & I'm totally grateful for that. Over here (Australia) she is now in the Child Mental Health Unit & receiving psycotherapy etc. I have spoken to her psycharist, psychologist, dietician & others. It is a 10 bed ward, under complete lock-down (as some of the kids (teens) there are suffering from major problems). Anyway, all I can say is that if any of you can access the type of treatment my little girl is receiving, then there is HOPE! Also, these specialists now involve me very much in feedback, information & guidance, so I now feel a part of her treatment rather than an uninformed on-looker. Her eating is still not good, but I would say, slowly improving. She didn't have time to go on-line to look at your messages over the weekend (too busy catching up with her friends!) It will happen as she get's used to coming home on day leave.

If any of you want to 'talk' about this problem - especially from a "parent point of view" I'm here. I'm no expert and certainly only a beginner, but to me at least, it's important to give love, support, have communication (at the righttimes) and continually give her as much confidence in herself and her achievements as possible. You have all helped with this. Talk to you soon, Jules

[ontariogirl]

Thank you Jules. Bless you and your daughter

[gubba]

Jules, You are so wonderful..I will say that my mom trys to understand this, but I am 41 now and while she has listened to it my entire life, she knows how I am and accepts it, but never will understand the way it is. She does not think i'm crazy, just weird about V* and she loves me no matter what. My husband is the same way, He cannpt figure out why I am this way, but loves me no matter what. I can say this, I wish I had known 30 years ago that this was not just something wrong with me physically since I felt sick daily from worry and had no clue what it was. Your daughter is very lucky to be getting great help and support and your love is most important!!!

[bexcelica]

You are such a great Mom....

[scarletbea]

Hi, Jules -

I am an emetophobe (much recovererd these days, thank heavens) and I
had a son who also was very emetophobic when he was younger...always
had stomach pains, wouldn't eat, couldn't sleep...this followed upon a
very bad bout of viral gastroenteritis, as I think many of us emetophobes
have experienced.

What really helped was KNOWLEDGE - what can make you sick, and what
won't. Most bout of GI illness are caused by norovirus. You can keep
your hands clean and out of your mouth, watch what you ear esp. in the
winter when NV is more common, and most of the time you can avoid
getting sick. It takes a while, and lots of the "miraculous" alcohol gel
which has been proven to kill viruses on your hands...but she can get
over it with time. It's NOT THAT EASY TO GET SICK! That's the good
news!

Best wishes from someone who's been there - with her son- and survived
and thrived!

[jules]

Hello to you all. Sorry it's been such a long time since I've 'caught up' Chelsea is still on the feeding tube & in hospital (its been around 85 days now - no wonder I'm lonely and going slightly nuts) but is receiving the best care. She is thru the v* tape (part of de-sensitivation program) and doing well. They have got her up to 30kg with the 'feed'. I've had her for weekend leave for past 2 weekends and am just thrilled to have her home. Also get her 2 afternoons a week and then for dinner, then back to hospital by 8pm that night. I look at your messages a lot, sometimes when I get home from seeing her, just scroll thru and think how lucky we are that help is at hand and your messages really help me in trying to - not so much cope, it's more the driving distances and stuff that wear me out a bit. Anyway, your messages have been looked at by me a lot and it gives me the added strength to believe there is light at the end of the tunnel. She is now up to around 35-60% of a 'meal', but that's nowhere near where she should be. The medical team is great and I see them a lot to keep up with what's happening and to get advice. At age 10, the 'rewards' program is working well for Chelsea - obviously the older u are the least it's going to be of interest, but to be rewarded for doing well (no matter what you're trying to achieve) is still a good thing. It's just the type of reward that matters. I say to Chelsea "every mouthful is one step closer to coming home" which of course is our focus especially after so long. I 'feed' her thru the tube at night and she has recently been put on mild medication as she went thru a non-improvement stage. Also believe the 'anxiety' is not just vomiting, think (these are my own thoughts) that there's more anxiety under all that, but that this is the one that has personified itself. I'm hoping to improve myself to become a better mum to her - anxiety actually runs in the family - so am trying to be stronger for her. Fortunately, I also have a counsellor to help me with the 'hard bits' although a lot of me thinks about things like hidden agendas and such. I just have to get over that kind of thinking. Suppose the guilt trip makes me believe I'm not a good mum and that they may try and take her away from me. It's probably a ridiculous thought, but its there.

But onto better things, yes, we're making progress. I think it's a team effort (psychologist, psycharist, dietician - sorry about spelling, but it's 11 pm here and I'm getting rather tired). She's also coming into denial mode and that's a hard one to work thru. i.e. 'why can't I be home, I feel the same about *v as anyone else etc' but the programe has to be completed together with all the other stuff so have to go thru the 'drama'. So sorry (again) that I haven't updated u, just so involved with all of this I rarely get time for 'leisure'. Luv to you all and please keep in touch. Jules [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[scarletbea]

You have been through a lot. I hope your daughter gets through this
okay and becomes anxiety-free as a result. This is a really serious case
of emetophobia, much more than most of us have to deal with, although
what we have is bad enough, but hopefully the worst is behind you and
its all downhill (i.e. the hard slog is over!) from here. Good luck and all
the best!Also, don't forget to take care of yourself too, hard as that
might be!

[gubba]

The advantage to getting your daughter the help now is so great. Hopefully she will never even think about this again and can be cured forever. Even though we may not all have it as bad as she does, we all suffer to some extent and I hope that she never suffers again since she is in such bad shape now.


Do think of yourself and make certain that you stay on top of things for yourself as well. Make sure that you pamper you sometimes. She will be fine and is in good hands and you have been so fabulous to her that you deserve some "SELF TIME." I have a son and I know how hard it is to give up time they need to take care of ourselves, but you deserve it more than others. While she is in a safe place, make some time for you and pamper yourself.

[wing]

Hopeyour daughter gets better and gets over this. You're such a great mom to your daughter. I'm 16 and had this since I was4 but my parents think i'm ridiculous whenever I panic. Its really good that she's getting the help she needs. Mine believe in "You'll grow out of it when you get older" Oh well, wishes to your daughter and you. =]

[californiagirl]

You are doing exactly what you should be doing with your daughter. You're wanting to learn more so that you can help her, you spend lots of time with her, that is what she needs, what comforts her, so that she knows she doesn't have to deal with this alone. Keep up the great work you're doing with her, she's very lucky to have a mom like you[img]smileys/smilies_13.gif[/img]

[jules]

Hi all, So nice to hear from you and your great wishes which really bolster me up. To "Wing" - I don't know how old you are now, but I'll say one thing - your parents have to become informed that this illness is, and I mean it, potentially deadly. Your parents can't hide behind it and it's not their fault, what they need to do is face the reality of this terrible affliction. It's not anorexia or bulimia, it's totally different and requires a totally different approach. Am I right in guessing that you don't want to be 'thin'? You will 'not grow out of it' I think that's obvious by the messages I've received from adults who are still suffering. I've been through the guilt trip of "what have I done to my child?" - although her dad is dead, and she knows it, I've tried my hardest to give her all the love, security, independence (to a degree) and everything else I can think of. So why did she get this anxiety? I've no idea yet and possibly never will. That's what I'm trying to say: I don't think it has anything to do with the parenting. Chelsea saw a kid *v and that is the only indicator I have as to why her condition started. Get some written info and leave it for them to read, don't get sidetracked onto the anorexic issue, keep focussed on being a healthy eater. I don't know what more I can add.
Give it your best shot to get through to your parents - show them my messages and maybe they'll listen to an almost 51 year old with an almost 11 year old daughter! Good Luck, I'm free to 'talk' and will try and help if I can. A human life is just so important, we can't afford to be so proud as to ignore that we all have various problems of varying degrees.

And to my other friends out there, thank you so much for your words of encouragement - they mean so much to me. Chelsea is improving but very tired. She is trying to eat but must admit we sometimes don't do so well. She's been asleep on the couch since 2.15 its now 5 and she's still out. Am planning a 'picnic on the lounge floor' pizza and garlic bread tonight (if she wakes up). Will ring the hospital for special overnight leave if she doesn't wake till late. Have a spare can of 'feed' so she won't miss out on much. She is so much more contented and happier at home (hence the sleeping) I don't think she gets much in hospital. Some of the kids have some very serious psychological problems and it unsettles little ones like Chelsea. Talk to you soon, thanks so much for your messages. Regards Jules

[gubba]

Being 41 and having been an EMET my whole life I can say that if I had known that it would still be this way for so long, I wish I had made my parents do something for me. At that time, I don't think it was severe enough to make my life any different from anyone elses and I truly don't think that people used to V* as much as they do now. I know that sounds strange, but I never remember my friends or me V*ing. Now, the older I get, the more I worry since I have a child and I kiss my husband and people just seem sicker now days.


I have never been underweight nor have I ever had an eating disorder. I donot eat a lot when I am exposed to and SV, but that is mostly a stress induced trigger for me and i don't eat when I have any stress. I actually was overweight until I went on a diet last spring and I am finally the correct weight for hte first time in 5 years. Had this EMET thing effected my eating or weight, I would never have hesitated to get help and my parents would have dragged me kicking and screaming to get it as well. Food is my life as a rule and especially junk food.


I hope that your daughter continues to do well and that you can keep up being so supportive of her. What a great inspiration you are to the younger people on this site. Thank you for being so nice to help all of us here when you are so busy with your own life.