I hate this so much...

[raindrop]

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I'm meeting a new friend for the second time, and we decide to go for a
drink. I was fine for the first hour and a half, although I was anxious
before I left. But then, I started to feel n* and all anxious and
shaky. Haven't felt that bad for ages. I put on my travel
bands (usually calm me down) but didn't work, so had to go outside for
some fresh air. My friend came with me and we decided to grab
some food for her (she had a coach journey), and then I was feeling so
bad, I took an anti emet, surreptiously! On the way to drop her off at
her coach, there was v* on the floor! I stepped right over it, but my
stomach literally flipped with fear.



I've tried calling my family, and my partner, but I can't get hold of
anyone. I live on my own in halls at uni. I don't feel sick
anymore, but I'm still shaking, and crying, and I'm so sick of dealing
with this.



Do you find sometimes your emet goes through bad stages and good
stages? This summer, I was so well. I travelled (3 hour train
journey) every week to see my partner, I went to a fair (!), I went out
for dinner, I started to eat foods I'd been frightened to eat for
years. For the first time in forever, i started to feel
normal. But now, I feel like a shadow of myself. Just a
complete mess. I can't stop thinking about v*, when I'll next v*,
whether it will be tonight, whether I'll cope with it when it does
happen. I haven't eaten all day, I can barely drink I'm so
nervous.



I'm sorry this is long. [img]smileys/smilies_12.gif[/img] Please, someone. I think I'm going mad. I'm not the only one who has days like these?

[kate1966]

No, you are not the only one with days like that...i do it all the time....i will go along for a long time feeling very good...not thinking about v at all...then the least little thing will trigger me into a several day funk of being terrified.....it doesn't take much to doit either...for instance....my son came home from school telling me about a kid that v all in the lunch room...didn't phase him one bit to talk about it...but i had to push my dinner plate aside and didn't eat for like 2-3 days....i was irritable and grouchy for a week thinking my son would get it next...so no, you are by no means the only person that feels that way.....i don't have much advice for you, except just try to think positive thoughts...it's hard i know...but we can't dwell on certain instances...it only makes it worse...i hope you are feeling better soon...b/c i know how depressing this can be. Chin up and think happy thoughts......talk to a friend....if you tell people about this...and just do something that makes you happy.

[angel13]

You are definitely not alone, Raindrop! *hugs* Definitely not, I feel exactly the same as you right now - up until recently I was fine too, doing all the things you said you were doing - going out for meals, partying and everything...but lately, I've gone downhill a bit.


Don't feel bad - emet does go in stages, that's for sure. I know what it feels like to have a freakout like that, and have it upset you later on, because you don't even know what freaked you out in the first place, and you're annoyed because often it ruins a perfectly good time out with friends, or family. Some days are fine, and you can cope - but others, maybe when you're tired, or have alot on your mind, emet gets the better of you. You shouldn't feel defeated, and once again, you shouldn't feel alone, either! You just need to get back on top of things again. You can do it, its all a matter of the mind - practice some relaxation techniques, maybe. When I start to go through a bad phase, its usually because I have too much time to think and worry - so I distract myself, by doing something fun that I enjoy. Personally, I draw, as that's my hobby, but you might have something totally different you find enjoyment in. Keep yourself busy - not too busy, you don't want to be stressing out, but busy enough.


Its just little things like that that can help you get back on track and get the upper hand on this phobia again ^_^ PM me anytime, or email, if you want to get something off your chest...seeing as we're both having our ups and downs right now! --&gt; [email protected]

[raindro&#112;]

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Thank you both so much. [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]



I feel a little better today, even though my stomach still aches
slightly. I guess I have been really stressed lately. I've
had to write five essays, and take an exam in the last two weeks.
I haven't slept enough, that's for sure! I was thinking I might
start yoga to help me practise relaxation.

[angel13]

Jeez, no wonder you're feeling so run down! Hope you've got some time off now, after all that? You might need some well deserved rest, by the sounds of it.


I wanna start yoga too...people who do it are always so calm.

[raindro&#112;]

Yeah, I've got 10 days off now until the next assignment. Thank god!

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