I can’t let this take control of my life!

[mikeday]

Hi all. My name is Mike and i'm 16. Ever since I was in 4th or 5th grade, I
have been EXTREMELY afraid of vomiting, in all meanings of the word. I
am afraid of myself getting sick, and I am EXTREMELY afraid of someone
else getting sick, either near me, or even in the same HOUSE.

Ironically, in 1st grade, while I was quite young, a girl got sick, right
behind me during arts/crafts. I was perfectly fine, and I acted perfectly
normal. Then, in 4th or 5th grade, I had a friend from my side
neighborhood spend the night. He stayed in my room, and we stayed up
fairly late. When I woke up in the morning, I tried to wake my friend up.
He woke up fine. We began to talk, as he was only a few feet away from
me at the side of my bed. All of a sudden, he hiccupped and literally ran
for the bathroom in my hall. It was like an automatic reaction that I had
no idea of: I SPRINTED towards my dad across the other side of my
house, with my hands covering my ears (so i wouldn't hear anything). As
I was running, I was kept on repeating "Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!. . .".
Even though I was far away from the bathroom, I kept my hands over my
ears. I ran to the kitchen and told my dad, and he helped clean up the
bathroom. I saw him helping my friend.

I was scarred that day. For life. That may seem quite dramatic to you,
but it changed my life. I remember acting very strange the rest of the
day. I took a walk with my mom, and we talked about it. I told her that I
was completely afraid of the thought of someone else throwing up. She
didn't know what to do.

Over the next few years, I would go to my friends house to spend the
night, but end up calling my parents at midnight to have them come and
pick me up. All because of emet. The same thing happened when kids
would spend the night at my house too.

It has since gotten worse. I WILL NOT spend the night, EVER, or have
anyone spend the night at my house. Period. It is horrible, and I over the
years, I felt like a freak.

Then there are the times where in middle school, a kid would get sick
during lunch time. It's bound to happen. Well, of course, it did happen. I
threw away the rest of my lunch, and started to have a panic attack
(subconsiously so no-body could tell). I wanted to jump the little fence
that guarded the lunch area so I wouldn't have to go past the "ewwww".

And recently, 2 years ago, (8th grade) one of the kids at my school got
sick right after finishing running a mile during PE class. I was far behind
him, and I as I finished, I ran right past the spot. I actually acted calm. I
asked one of my friends all calmly, "Who barfed dude?". But
subconsiously, it hurt, REALLY BAD. The rest of class, I couldn't stop
freaking out on the inside. I even told my PE teacher about it, but he just
told me to suck it up.

Now, even this year, when my dad gets sick, I will sleep in the living
room, farthest away from his. And what is really scarring to me is the
way my dad "gags" himself, sort of, while brushing his teeth and gargling.
It makes me go NUTS!

Know what the weird thing is? If someone is sick, I actually ask them if
they vomited. For some reason, I just HAVE to ask. I don't know why. It
even got to me one day, that I GOOGLED the word vomit. I found a
website with pictures of people doing it. I was so afraid of the idea of
vomiting that I actually looked at pictures of people doing it! That
doesn't even make sense. That is why I feel i am going insane over the
whole issue.

And know what else? I VERY rarely get sick myself. Besides being a baby,
I have gotten sick twice. And every time I feel nautious is at nigh

[mommyof3]

Well, Mike, you sound like a lot of us here! I had a friend sleep over night one night, too, and do that to me--in the hide-a-bed we were sharing! It was awful.To this dayI have this weird thing that if I notice on the clock the exact time in the middle of the night that it happened, I freak out until the clock flips to the next minute.LOL I can't even type the time! And I can remember staying overnight at friends' houses and literally being up all night (especially at slumber parties) worrying if somebody was going to v*.


I guess what I'm saying is having emet is different for everybody, but we all have our weird "things." As far as what you should do, probably the best thing would be to have a long talk with your parents and ask them to find help for you, like some therapy. I wish I had told my parents when I was younger.


Welcome and good luck!

[crystalmom]

Hi Mike. Well, you found us, and at 16! I wish I knew someone who had emet when I was 16. I'm 28 now, and only recently found this site as well. You will find great support and friendship here. You will find yourself strong for others in the face of their fear.


One of the therapies for this is exposure therapy. Maybe you found one of those sites. Some people here cannot "go far" in this, others, like myself, have no problem when faced with graphic pictures. But, I will FREAK if I feel ill, or some else v* around me.


When I was in Grade 1, one of the kids sitting next to me v*ed all over the place during story time. I ran out of the room, down the hall, and demanded that my mom be called. I was an emet WAY before that, but I think we all know someone who did the "unthinkable" during school years.


There are many things that you could look into for yourself. Go to the treatments thread of this site, and there are many different ways to cope with emet. Myself, I take presecription meds for the panic attacks. I have been up and down for 10 years now on those. Emet began for me when I was 2 1/2, and I REMEMBER vividly why (I won't go into right now though) But, I was 2 years old!!!


I hope you find what your are looking for, just finding this site will help, knowing you are definately not alone.


Crystal

[ontariogirl]

Hi Mike, well Paula and Crytal are right, glad you found this site. This phobia is is frustrating especially when you are around your age. I remember being 16 and not doing the things that 16 year olds do. This phobia begun when I was 9, I will be 40 on the 24th, it has been a long haul. I understand completely about the sleep overs. I remember when I was 14 and I had my friend Donna sleep over. Well my parents were at their friends place playing cards and it was only 8pm and she said she felt sick. She phoned her mom and asked her to come and get her. Her mom said she has to walk home because her father has the car. I started walking her home and she would stop and bend over, holy freak out, I would put my hands over my ears and sing. She wasn't sick but everytime she did that I would put my hands over my ears and sing. I told her we have to walk fast. We finally got there, it was a 20 min walk which seemed like an hour. That was the end of my sleep overs. Now thatI am much older I tend to handle this phobia a little better. I don't do the wild things that I used to do. I have 2 sons and I think Tyler had maybe 2 sleep overs, 2 years ago he had a friend come to his birthday party and he fell ill, I frantically called his dad (mom was out of town) on his cell phone, no answer! Finally about an hour and a half later he came, I can honestly say I didn't handle it very well. My eldest son may have had more sleep overs, not until later in teenage years, but if they ever became sick they can handle it on their own.
I really feel that you should talk to your parents, show them this site, print out what sage has posted on the treatments. You will feel so much better that your parents can help you and understand a lot better.
Rhonda

[harmonygirl72]

Hi and welcome!


I have had some of those same experiences. too. Paula, I wanted to relate to your exact time story. I wonder if others have that. For me, it is the time that I woke up before I was last sick...in 1984! I will be brave and write it out...it is 2:51am, but even 2:51pm kinda freaks me out, and I am always glad when that minute passed and I didn't look at the clock! Oh, and the other story I thought of was about friends coming over during childhood. I think I was in about 4th or 5th grade and I invited the most popular girl in my class over! We went for a walk (I think to get ice cream) and when we were walking back she said her stomach hurt. I started RUNNING home, basically ditching her. When she got back to my house, my stepmom called her mom to pick her up, but I was hiding in the basement the whole time! I sure got the "bad hostess" speech from my stepmom! Needless to say, SHE never came over again!


Anyway, welcome, and I hope these stories help you realize that you are far from alone in this horrible fear.


Mary

[pookey30]

Well, I tell you what Mike.


I could have written your post. Right down to the point that you mention you feel s* at night and you sweat and shake. That is me. I'm petrified of v* myself but I am scared to the point of death if anyone near me so much as feels N*.


My problem is that I have two children. You should take some time to read my post under "Experiences". My son v* about 7 times last Friday. I ran out of the house twice. I had to get my other halfs sisters boyfriend over to deal with it as my other half was at work. MY partners 13 year old niece also came over. The 13 year old had to stay with me on Saturday night too incase it happened again. I can't be alone with my son at night now. Every night my son (he is 3) comes into our room and gets into our bed. Now I have to get out. Everynight now I sleep downstairs on the sofa. I can't bear the thought of sharing a bed with him now. One of the 7 times he v* was in my bed with me laying next to him. I got my car keys and left the house. I was gone about 3 hours. I just wanted to keep driving, not go back at all.


About 15 years ago I was in a cab with 3 other friends. One of them was really drunk and started to burp. Another friend told the cab driver to pull over as that friend was going to V*. Well, the car was moving, I opened the door and had a leg out ready to jump. My friend had to pull me in and slap me round the face.


I have to ask questions when I find out someone had been s*. How many times did they retch? How many times did they v* and was there a lot of it? GROSS[img]smileys/smilies_11.gif[/img]but I am obbessed. Don't know why I want to know the gory details as I hate it so much. Just one of our Emet thingies I suppose.


Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that your post could have been written by me!!! ARE WE NORMAL ???


Congrats to finding our site. We are like one big happy family here and EVERYONE is special here. They are so so friendly.


Good luck with staying v* free!!!!


Pookey30

[tayda]

Wow, you write so well for someone your age. Anyway, welcome to the group, Mike. You'll meet many supportive people here who know what you're experiencing.

[gubba]

Welcome Mike


You are so lucky tohave found this group. if i had had these people on here in my life at your age, who knows where I would be now. i am 41 and i have dealt with the EMET thing all my life that I can remember. i laugh at the time of day thing since I call Wednesday, "CHUCK DAY." I have always V*'d on a Wednesday and I get nervous every single Tuesday night and I can hardly sleep for fear of waking up S* or getting that way during the day. Needless to say, at midnight on Wednesday night, I feel much better. I also talk myself out of feeling bad on a Saturday for example since it is not on "CHUCK DAY." Yes, mu husband and mother think i am nuts for that.


Sorry to have run on, but I thought it was funny how we all have our moments.


Again, Welcome Mike and know that we are all here for you, and know exactly how you feel.

[mikeday]

Thank you, to all of you for your awesome comments. They are much
appreciated. Lately, I have been alright with the emet, because nothing
has really happened.

Since I very very rarely get sick (in that way), I don't dwell on it. The thing
that sets me off is when others do it. Both are equal, but I just always
seem to be around people who v* more than I myself do. Like I said, I've
only v*d twice in my toddler+ life.

Just a few weeks ago, I went scuba diving, and I heard an older girl
getting sick over the edge of the scuba boat. I became quite
closterphobic (even though I'm not) because the size of the boat was
quite small. It ruined my day, i'll tell you. I was planning on scuba diving
the rest of the day, but I quit. I couldn't handle myself.

Also, though I've never truly gotten sick from motion sickness, I always
get headaches, dizzy, and even nautious if I'm on a boat or a long car
ride. Well, I had felt all of this on the boat. And after seeing the other
girl get sick, I had a panic attack. Not only was I afraid I might get sick
(which was the least of it), I just COULD NOT HANDLE being on the same
boat as the girl. One of the older guys who had been talking with me that
day asked me if I was alright, and I told him i was debating whether to go
back in the water or not, as I was not feeling great. He told me i
shouldn't because "if i v* UNDER WATER with a scuba mask on, I would
sufficate on my own v*."

If that guy had just known how bad my emet was, he would NOT have
said that. That reeally made me freak out.

Anyways, I'm done with my loong post guys.

Thanks again for the great support. You don't know how much relief I
feel to know that there are others who are with me on this.