OT: Err she’s 14, naked and anorexic..

[s0ccer_princess]

I have a friend who is a very lovely friend. At times she can be slightly possessive over certain people and doesn't like going out in large groups. We discovered about a year ago that she had stopped eating lunch, and since then it got worse, until we were convinced she had an eating disorder. She just does not eat now.

She is also very different around certain people. In large groups of people, even us as her friends, she is silent and tends not to be happy. When she is on her own she is fine. She also is very very confident with boys and gets a new boyfriend regularly. We in the end decided she had insecurity problems and was using this close relationship with boys as almost a barrier, an act of confidence, when really she is not confident.

Finally, we realised she had taken photos of herself naked and put them up on Myspace, a public access site.She is 14 years old.This was the final straw. The day before yesterday, we decided to tell a teacher at school. They phoned her parents, and her parents now know about her eating problems and the naked pictures. Her mum told our teachers to tell us how grateful to us she is and our teachers have told us we were really brave in coming forward.

Problem is, not everyone thinks what we did is positive..some people are trying to make out we did it just to spite our friend. I'm starting to feel terrible. I've heard that her mother can't stop crying and saying what a bad mother she is. We didn't mean to do this..we wanted to help..

Did we do the right thing? I mea we did it because we care about her. She meets epople from MYspace. She could get raped or even killed. And the eating disorder speask for itself. But everyone is being so awful to us for telling now..

[*mandi*]

I think you did the right thing. Shes only 14! She shouldnt be putting naked pictures of herself where everyone can see them! You are absolutely right....she could meet up with some pervert and something very bad could have happened to her.


Being annorexic is very dangerous. She could die from not eating properly. Someone should have been told about her poor choices. And maybe now that her parents know, she can get some sort of help.


So dont feel terrible. I dont know why some people would be mad. They would truly have to see that this behavior is not right.

[tink]

You really, really did the right thing!! Dont second guess yourself even for a moment. Her mother is of course understandably upset, but also very grateful. Like you said, you stopped this from turning into something even worse than it already has. Now her mother can get her help and give her proper support to get through her eating disorder and her decision to post those pictures. I applaud you for coming forward, that was very admirable.

[img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img]

--Kim



--Kim

[bexcelica]

You definitely did the right thing. Its hard to realize now, but later in life your friend will definitely appreciate you trying to help her. Its almost like self destructing behaviors. I'm proud of you

[samara's on tv]

You did the right thing. I mean she's only 14 years old and she's posing nude and anorexic! It may not seem like you did the right thing though and I know that feeling. I remember once having a good friend who was suicidal and I talked to her mother about it. Her mother got REALLY mad at me for bringing it up and denied the whole thing but because I warned her about the suicidal thoughts her daughter was having they were able to catch her in time after she attempted it!


~Monica

[tayda]

It's still childpornography, even if she posted the pictures herself, and that's illegal. What your friends and you did was report a crime, and potentially saved your friend's life. I'm a Criminal Justice major, and I've learned of some really nasty things that happen to people. Fortunately, your chances of victimization are relatively slim, BUT if you put yourself in harms way-- chances are harm will come. Stick to your guns, the guys that she met off of that site were interested in one thing.... which is even more prurient if there were any grown adults.

[hanarky]

u should've told her parents about the eating not the naked pictures. Shes
not 10 shes of age to do whatever she wants on the net.. the net is
unavoidable.

[s0ccer_princess]

u should've told her parents about the eating not the naked pictures. Shes
not 10 shes of age to do whatever she wants on the net.. the net is
unavoidable.

The problem is, she meets people from that website. I was aiming to tell the teacher predominantly about the eating, because, as a food lover myself, I can't really understand how someone can stop themselves eating for like months on end.

Unfortunately one of my friends turned it into a lot about the naked pictures. I see your point, it is her life, yet she meets people from that website- it's a public site and she doesn't know if those people are who they say they are.

[reese]

I agree that you did the right thing. I disagree that an adult shouldn't have
been made aware of the naked photos. She's not of age. She's a child. She
doesn't have the foresight or the maturity to make these kinds of decisions
for herself. A good friend will get help when the problem is bigger than they
can handle.

[tink]

Well said Reese!

[one who squeaks]

u should've told her parents about the eating not the naked pictures. Shes
not 10 shes of age to do whatever she wants on the net.. the net is
unavoidable.

In other words, it's okay tocommit foolish (notto mention dangerous) illegal acts just because they happen to be "unavoidable."


Anyway, I think you did the right thing-- don't feel guilty. She'll probably thank you down the road.

[hippychick]

u should've told her parents about the eating not the naked pictures. Shes
not 10 shes of age to do whatever she wants on the net.. the net is
unavoidable.

I'm sorry but I really couldn't disagree more with you here. She is 14 she is still a child not an adult and so she is not of an age to do whatever she wants especially when she is meeting people through this. Risk taking, dangerous behaviour to say the least! When she is 16 or 18 THEN she can make her own decisions about what she wants out there on the net but at 14 she is a minor, if that was my child I would 100% want to know about it and the eating issues. She is out of her depth and you made 100% the right choice in telling her parents. What if she met someone and he was a pervert?