With the medication, I've been doing a whole lot better, anxiety-wise. But what really surprised me was the way I reacted in Vegas. We were walking to the Wynn casino, and I saw a pile of vomit on the sidewalk. I only remember seeing the vomit and then feeling anxious afterward, but after talking to my boyfriend, I think I may have reacted normally (except for the whole dissociating/not remembering this part of the incident thing) at first. I asked my b/f exactly what I said, and he said that I first said "Ewww!" (completely normal), and then said, "Honey, don't step in that!" (again, perfectly normal, considering that he was walking closer to it than I was. Of course after the few moments of normalcy, the anxiety set in, but I did not go back to my hotel and hide, nor did I have a panic attack. For me, this is great progress. I did, however, look the other way when I had to pass the vomit on the way back, and I felt extremely panicky just walking near it the second time, even though I did not see it that time (I'm betting that was anticipatory anxiety). But to know that I reacted normally, even for a few seconds, it a good thing. Hopefully I can eventually increase the few seconds to a few minutes, a few hours....to forever.
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