Hey guys! It's been a long time since I've posted anything. A lot's happened in the past few months.
First off, my husband and I separated for a month and a half, due to all that emotional crap from my drinking days. But we've worked it out and we're back together and doing better than ever. We will be celebrating our third anniversary this month, on the 19th, and will be going to a cabin in the woods to celebrate. We both love all that rustic camping stuff!
Secondly, we sold our house, which was becoming too much of a burden. Between my anxiety preventing me from working to help pay the bills, and having poor health in general, we were unable to keep up with repairs and it was putting an unbearable strain on our marriage. We moved into a more affordable two-bedroom apartment.
Finally, I got a new job as a server and I love it! I've never served before, even though I've worked at restaurants. I just started two weeks ago. I love coming home with big fistfulls ofcash! [img]smileys/smilies_04.gif[/img] I finally have some money to support us, the way a marriage should be (unless the husband makes enough for the wife to stay at home.)
However, I've dealt with some v* exposure therapy lately:
****WARNING: MAY BE GRAPHIC FOR SOME****
Although my anxiety has improved 100% and I barely have panic attacks anymore and can go anywhere, I still had a few experiences at work that were v*-related.
My last job, Wendy's: In the summer, this little girl v* right in front of me at the cash register. It wasn't alot, so I didn't freak. And I didn't have to clean it up, which was even better. The family took their food to go, so I didn't have to worry about her doing it again.
Then, a month or so ago, we got this bus full of mentally-challenged kids that came in from a field trip or something. This boy comes up to me and said, "My friend threw up in the bathroom and it's on the floor and on the wall." I felt the blood drain from my face and prayed to God I wouldn't have to see him do it again, or clean it up. Fortunately, this guy I worked with has an iron stomach and did the dirty work.
Already I got "christened" at my new job. On Friday night, there was this family of six sitting in the corner. I was getting my customer's food and going to take it out, when I heard another server say, "Yuck. This little girl just threw up at the table." She took a bunch of napkins with her to go do the "dirty work." The mother took her little girl to the bathroom and they left soon after.
And yesterday, one of the servers was sick with a bad cold. She looked pale and her friend asked her if she was okay, and she said, "I just threw up. I hate throwing up."
Surprisingly, in none of these situations, did I panic. I remained calm and did what I had to. I think it was because I was at work and it took my mind off it. But last weekend, this neighbor two doors down was drunk and v* over the balcony half the night! I panicked a little bit then. I felt trapped, like I couldn't go outside and enjoy the fresh air.
But anyway, this was long. So I'm done rambling. Just wanted to let you know I'm alive and well. [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]
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