HELP - I want to leave tonight !

[pookey30]

Hello everyone,


I don't know if you remember the post I posted about a month ago. It was about my son being V*.


Well, he done it again tonight!!!


My other halfs car was at the garage being repaired. I dropped him off there. Left my car there and we went in his car to his friends house.


There my son (turned 3 last week.) didn't want to talk to our friends 4 children. He just wanted to be cuddled. I knew what this meant. He looked white too. I begged the friend to drive me back to my car so I didn't have to go in the car with my son. We were about 40 miles away and our friend had been drinking so he couldn't take me.


So, I sat in the back of the car and my son sat in the front. On the way back he fell asleep. We arrived back at my car. I got my 12 week old baby daughter our and put her in my car. My son stayed in my partners car.


I was following my partner home and he jumped a red light. I wondered what he was doing. When I was nearly home I phoned him on my mobile. He told me that our son had V* everywhere in the car.


Now it is 0040am, I am downstairs and can't sleep. He has gone into our bed so going to bed up there is no longer an option. I will have to try to sleep downstairs. I can't share a bed with him. I havn't been able to do that since he was ill a month ago.


Earlier I went out for nearly 3 hours. I don't even want to be in the house. I phoned the Samaritans as I want to go. I want to leave both my children because I am too scared to be here.


I hate this phobia. I want to leave my children because of it. What should I do. I am still dressed as I am trying to decide whether to stay tonight or to just go. If I go I know my other half WONT have me back. He's not very supportive. He just wants me to "get over it". I tell him I want to go and he says I shouldn't desert the children. I know he is right but I just can't cope with this. Even if my son isn't ill I still worry that he is going to.


WHAT SHALL I DO? I WANT TO GO BUT I KNOW THAT I WONT BE ABLE TO COME BACK. MY CHILDREN WILL HATE ME WHEN THEY ARE OLDER.


Can anyone let me know what I should do. I have seen about help but the waiting list is 2 to 3 months.


Please help me.


Thanks


Karen


P.S. if he is ill again tonight I will just pack a bag and go.

[murphy]

Karen


Please don't leave. You can get through this. Will your partner take care of him if he is sick again? If so, just keep your distance and wash your hands often. I think you will regret it if you leave. The fear is driving you right now, don't let it. I know you don't want to leave your children. Keep talking to us. Especially those that have children. They know exactly what you are going through. Just keep in touch. We are there for you. Prove to yourself and your husband you can do this. You can ya know?!


Murphy

[madisonsmom]

How are you doing now??


Does your son go to daycare...just wondering where he might have picked this up IF its a bug??Edited by: madisonsmom

[shiva]

Definitely do not leave. Tough it out. You will be okay. What is the worst thing that could happen? No one will die, you will be extremely uncomfortable.. That is the worst. But if you leave, think of how your partner and children will feel. There is help out there for people with anxiety. Get some proper help. Maybe you need some medication for a while. I know it seems hard, but you are their mother and you have to stay. Please don't leave them.

[pookey30]

Thanks everyone.


I have written an update under my other post. I have packedsome bags and I am dressed. I want to go


Karen

[sunshine16]

Do you have MSN messenger?

If so, feel free to add me and we'll cope together..

[email protected]

[ontariogirl]

Please for the love of your children don't go. They need you. Listen to what Shiva put down. Tough it out, you have more strength than you think. Stay at home.
You are really bringing tears to my eyes, I know how you feel, all of us Moms know what you are going through. It is hard and frustrating but you need to stay. You can't walk out on those kids. When your kids are sick they want Mom and even though this is the roughest situation that you are enduring right now it will end. The kid is sick, he may puke again and he may not, stay.
How are you going to feel when you leave? You have to think of the consequences if you leave,; will your partner forgive you for what you have done? You put down that he doesn't understand your phobia, he may never understand you 100% but this walking out will make it twice as worse.
I don't want to come across as being mean but if you do this you will regret it for a very long time.I am PM'ing you with my phone number you want to talk phone me.
DONT LEAVE!!

[gubba]

I know how you feel and I have been through it. I have a 3 year old son and he does V* a lot. Even though I want to run from it, I deal with it, panic on my own and just wash my hands a lot and hope I don't get it. I understand your fear and we all do which is why we are here.


DO NOT LEAVE YOUR CHILDREN.


V* is awful, but it won't kill any of us despite what we think. Your kids need you and they are your life, this phobia cannot take over your life. Please stay with your kids and let your other half care for the sick one and make him understand that you just caren't comfortable doing it. You can do this, you are strong...giving birth is more difficult then dealing with this.


We are all here to help and support you.

[ontariogirl]

Karen
Thanks for PM'ing me. You will be fine.