using the forum exposure link...

[terified girl]

If there's anyone who's also trying the exposure link in the treatment secion and wants to discuss some issues with me, I'd be grateful.


So I've decided to take my CBT to a new level, which is that I'm going to do some exposure therapy alone. So I am now on Category 3, the small picture. Just knowing what it is I have to look at makes me not want to look at it. The picture is really small but you can see the brown stuff and the chick looks gross herself, she looks so hungover, it's disgusting alone.


So what I want to know is, if I can't handle moving on to the next bigger picture, how will I ever over come this? Because I remember someone saying to look at the picture till you've become completely bored with it and can move on, what if I can't? Did you guys experience what I am feeling right now? This sense of never going to make it through this? That you think you are a failure and will never be able to go on with the category's? Am I just moving too fast in my head thinking that once I've looked at the picture for 5 minutes and start looking at it sort of blankly that I am ready for the next one, but then when I am about to click it, I can't do it???


I am so messed up with all this crap. Maybe getting other responses would help because I can learn from your experiences and knowing-Yes I am the only feeling this way or-No I am not alone and to just relax because this takes sometimes some extreme time to move forward.


Any words would be so helpful right now!


Thanks!

[babygap5]

Don't stress yourself out that much. You are on category 3 and that is a HUGE accomplishment. I was stuck there for awhile also. One day, I decided to just do it, and I clicked through every single picture until I got to the end. My head was filled with these images for days after words, but I was able to survive it. I just kept telling myself that they were just photos, they were not people who were standing next to me doing it, and that is what got me through them. I had imagined that the pictures were going to be worse than they were because of the way they were described, but they really weren't as bad as I had made them out to be in my head. Just keep at it, don't feel down on yourself at all. You are making strides to beating this and that's awesome.

[terified girl]

Thank you babygap!

[shiva]

Terified girl,


I am right there with you! I remember that image, and it took a while for me to get past that one, too. I am in the middle of category 7 and I am stuck as well. I have the same concerns as you do. I don't know if you are able to do this, but it helps me to have someone sit with me and explain to me everything I am going to see before I actually look at it. It helps me a lot to have a buddy there... definitely.


Some tips my psychologist shared with me were that I don't have to stare directly at the subject in the image.Youcan look at the upper right corner and just letyour vision catch a little of it. You can take as long as you need, but never leave the image while you are anxious. Always bring your anxiety down before you leave the situation. Do you have a relaxation response? I practiced this for about 2 months before I even started the images. I taught myself how to breath in the most relaxing way for me, while doing positive self talk through the anxiety. I tell myself things like "I am relaxed" or "I am going to be fine.. I am strong and capable. I will face and defeat this. It can't hurt me. I am okay." Stuff like that. Even just the word "relax". I also burn candles with soothing scents and sometimes take a hot bath just before I look at the images just to get very relaxed first.


Good luck. Let me knowhow you're doing.If you'd like we can discuss the images as you go through them. I am going to start over anyway, I think.

[japa]

O.K. my disclaimer for this statement is that I, myself, did not do exposure therapy. But if I were going to do it, my thought about category 3 (which I just looked at) is that I would look at it each day for an entire week or seven days. Each day that I looked at it, I would do it until I was staring at it blankly or however it is you described it, and I would do all of those relaxation techniques recommended by shiva and by your therapist.


It will seem like it is going very slowly, I'm sure, but I believe that it must be more effective to take it slowly than to overload yourself. After seven days, I would reassess if I still felt too anxious over the picture, and if I did, I would look at it for another 7 days.


Just my thoughts on this.

[bexcelica]

hey - i think you will be able to get bored with it, if you can bring
yourself to keep loking at it. i guess you kind of have to sacrifice
some anxiety to make yourself better. i think you can get bored with
anything if you look at it for too long. i think thats the problem with
KIDS these days - they play so many stupid violent video games, see so
many murders on the news, etc etc so they are desensitized to violence.
its the same thing. i think youll be fine. dont give up on yoruself



becky

[terified girl]

Thank you all for your responses, and there is something I forgot to mention that is itching me. How does looking at these pictures make me no longer scared of myself being sick, because sure it might desensitize me from others but not from myself, no? This is very scary for me to be doing all of this therapy because I, myself am pressuring myself to get better because I want to have a baby and I won't until I am better, and this is why I guess I am freaking the way that I am because if I think its not working then I'll never get pregnant...You understand, and so I am becoming a freak here.


Also what you guys said about the picture and looking at it till you get bored, yes all that is happening, I just can't bring myself to click the bigger one and see that yuckiness, but I am ok with the current pic. Is this where I am doing something wrong?


Thanks for all your help guys!

[kel12347]

It will help with the fear of you being sick b/c after you're desensitized to all the pictures, you should go through each one again and imagine that it's you, until the anxiety is gone. Ask Sage for more info on this one.

[crazy_me_84]

i agree too. when you become desensitised to the pictures, the images of it may help you to think that it isn't all so bad if it happens to yourself... that its no real danger. just make sure your anxiety levels are really low before you click on the next pic. what i did was click on thepic and had a quick glance at the picture- as in quick flick of the eyes at the picture to get some idea... then increased the time i stared at it. that way, you don't get such a big shock when you look at the picture. In time, you can achieve it! keep up the good work!


xxx

[japa]

Yeah, that would be the thing to do I believe - click on it, take a quick glance, and you're done for the day. Then the next day, same thing, but maybe take two quick glances unless you found that after you clicked on it, it wasn't such a big deal after all. It sounds like the anticipation of what the next picture will be like is getting to you; sometimes the anticipatory anxiety is even worse than the anxiety while actually lookint at the picture, huh?

i agree too. when you become desensitised to the pictures, the images of it may help you to think that it isn't all so bad if it happens to yourself... that its no real danger. just make sure your anxiety levels are really low before you click on the next pic. what i did was click on thepic and had a quick glance at the picture- as in quick flick of the eyes at the picture to get some idea... then increased the time i stared at it. that way, you don't get such a big shock when you look at the picture. In time, you can achieve it! keep up the good work!


xxx

[2jo2]

I just wrote a big reply to this and the forum pooped out on me... grr.... so I'll try again.....


I'm stuck on category8 for the same reasons you're stuck, just can't get to the next one. My therapist has helped me get the courage to moving along the categories and what you have to do is take baby steps, divide it into manageable parts. Read the description over and over until you're bored with it, then click on the picture but keep your eyes closed and then minimize the screen. (You can do that by using the keyboard, instead of the mouse, so you'll have to figure out how before you start.) Then squint your eyes so that you can barely see anything and then minimize the screen... do all these things over and over until they no longer phase you. If you break it up, it'll be alot easier. I've been working on going through the categories for about 5 months! It takes time.

[terified girl]

Ok Great! Thank you guys for your responses...I will keep everything you said in mind and use it too!


Sonia xxx

[sage]

Hey you guys are awesome! Great advice; great support. And keep going - it does take time, but it's well worth it in the end!