Anger..

[confusedgirl]

I feel like such a bad person, but I get SO angry at people who are
sick or who do not try to prevent getting sick. Like if someone eats a
meal, licks their hands, and does not immediately wash their hands or
use hand sanitizer, I get so angry at them. Because when they lick food
off their hands, all the germs from the mouth get on the hands, and
then anything they touch the germs could be transferred to. It's the
same when a person does not wash their hands after going to the
bathroom, or before preparing food. I feel so mad at those people for
not taking measures to keep healthy/not transfer germs. If a family
member does not wash their hands after eating, I sometimes end up just
yelling at them.. and then I get in trouble. But really, to me it is So
selfish that they do not care or understand that they are spreading
germs and putting everyone around them in danger of becoming sick.



I also feel angry at people who are sick. I know people can't help it
when they are sick, but if someone gets sick, I get so upset with them.
I get mad that they are so weak they are sick, and that they are so
selfish that they put themselves around others when they are sick. I
know this is completely irrational, people can not help getting sick,
even strong people get sick, and in no way is it possible to expect for
people to stay all by themselves when they are sick. But I still get so
angry when someone I am with says they are sick. I am angry they told
me, and have made me now worried. I am angry that by being around me,
they have put My health in danger.



I really feel so selfish thinking this way, but I just can't help it.
When a family member becomes sick, I feel NO sympathy. Instead I feel
mad at them, that they are sick and therefore I am exposed to their
germs. Many times, I have ended up yelling at my sister when she has
been sick, which I know is just so mean. I don't yell at friends who
are sick, I just keep my anger inside. But it is still their if they
tell me they are sick. I want to be sympathetic like most people. But I
just can't.. this stuff gets me more angry then I think anything, with
the exception of human/animal abuse stories. I was wondering, do ANY
other emets get this way? I feel like such a bad person sometimes...
sorry for the rant.

[Galadriel]

Hey Confusedgirl,


I can't say that I get angry with people. The only thing that does irritate me is people who don't wash their hands after using the bathroom. The thing is though, most people aren't as concerned about being/getting sick as we are, so they just don't think about it like we do.


Maybe you are projecting your fear of being sick onto people who are sick or who are spreading around the potential to catch germs. Do you feel angry at yourself when you get sick?

[confusedgirl]

Yeah, I sort of do.. not as much angry, but more just scared.. and
sometimes, dissapointed in myself that my immune system wasn't good
enough to fight off the sickness.. but yeah you're right, other people
really don't think about that stuff like we do.

[sage]

Anger is a natural response to fear, just as panic is. It's the "fight or flight" response of the fear centre in the brain. Anger is the "fight" part.


So it's a "reptilian" response, and can be controlled by the higher (executive) centre in the brain - responsible for rational, logical thought. Once you realize that this anger is a fear response, you can start to let go of it by "overriding" it. Feeding into it, by convincing yourself that it is rational is quite unhealthy.


Lots of people are "unsanitary" simply because they do not fear illness. And they aren't really selfish, because most people don't fear illness. Viruses are part of life, and while annoying are not a nuclear holocaust. So the next time you feel this anger, try switching to sadness. Talk to your phobia and let it know how sad you are that it ruins your life and relationships. Tapping into the sadness may help override the anger at others, and even bring some healing.


People with depression should ignore this advice, btw! Depressed individuals don't usually react with strong anger, however.


All the best.

[confusedgirl]

Okay, thanks for the advice However I've been this way for as long
as I can remember, and I've tried ignoring the feelings, telling myself
they're irrational.. but yet I still can't help but dwell on the fact
that someone has done something "unsanitary". If someone in my family
does not wash their hands after a meal, I can dwell on that for hours,
until I see them get up to go wash their hands. I guess, next time I
can try turning those thoughts to sadness and see how that works..
thanks for explaining the "fight or flight" thing, that makes sense
I seem to have the anger response a whole lot more than the panic
response, although I do get the panic one on occasion. This reaction I
have is reminding me of the Star Wars quote, "fear leads to anger,
anger leads to hate, hate leads to the Dark Side" lol I just don't want
to get that far, I don't want to go past anger..

[ontariogirl]

I get angry when people go to family functions and are sick. I don't care if its a cold but when they are puking that day or the night before I become very angry. So confusedgirl I understand your anger completly. How to let this anger go I have no idea.

[mommyof3]

I get angry when people do that, too. One year at our family Christmas party my sil changed my niece's diarrhea diaper in the bathroom and wasn't very clean about it. Our whole family got a sv* from it that week ruining Christmas vacation. Just stay home already!


Know what else I can't stand? When people take seconds at dinner and tap the serving spoon on their dirty plate to get everything off the spoon and stick the serving spoon back into the bowl. Gross!


And I actually kind of understand where you're coming from about the anger at people who are sick thing. It's like, don't you wash your hands? Can't you control your v*? But know what? Even though Ithink like that with almost everyone (including my husband although I never say it), I never feel that way with my kids. I am so glad I feel scared and anxious, yes, but never angry, just sad for them. Plus a little jealous 'cause when they're sick they just v* and feel fine again!

[crazy_me_84]

i think there is some anger there when people around me are unsanitary, so yeah confusedgirl, i know how it feels. I know it does sound a bit selfish though, in that i fear others being unsanitary will risk myself becoming ill/sick. I too hate it when people go to big social occasions when they are ill, people inpublic who cough or sneeze without covering their mouths, or sniffle really loudly when they have a cold and come really close to you when they talk until you feel their breath on your face... i didn't realise i could hold my brath for so long! lol! I guess they don't realise how little thing like this bothers us emets so much!