Taken Advantage Of...

[samara's on tv]

On the night of my birthday (September 28th) I got a little drunk and I was with a REALLY GOOD friend of mine. The power was out at my apartment so I went back to his place where he said we would have to share a bed. Well I was a little out of it and everything I usually don't share beds with people but I tried to share a bed with him. Like as soon as we laid down he started touching me. His hands were like ALL OVER My body and I REALLY didn't like it...but I didn't say anything because he's such a close friend. I ended up getting out of bed and going into the other room and sleeping on the floor. I haven't talked to him since then and I don't know if I want to talk to him any more. I feel like he was taking advantage of my drunk state (Even though he said he would NEVER do that). Should I call him and tell him that I really didn't like what he did to me? I feel abused...I really do...and when I think about him touching me it makes me sick...what should I Do? I don't know! Someone help me!


~Monica

[babygap5]

Is it possible that your friend was a little tipsy also? If that was the case, not that i'm saying he had any right to do what he did to you, but, he may not remember touching you like that. If he wasn't tipsy, then what he did to you was just awful. I would talk to him and explain that what he did was totally wrong and tell him how it made you feel. His apology might help you move on from this awful experience. I hope this never happens to you again, but remember, it doesn't matter if he is your best friend, you have the power to say "no" and you have every right in the world to use it!!

[SimplyMe]

Monica, I PMed you.

[bexcelica]

monica - thats not cool at all. i think you should definitly say
somethign to him, especially since hes a close friend. oh man, im sos
orry that happened

[bexcelica]

ps - happy birthday late

[meercat]

I agree with what babygap5 said.

Happy belated birthday too!

Paula

[samara's on tv]

No he wasn't tipsy...he doesn't even drink! I'm afraid to confront him on it cause I don't want him to get mad or think I'm just pulling excuses out of my ass not to be with him. He is SO CERTAIN that me and him are going to get Married one day. I don't see it happening, I can't even have SEX...I mean I can but mentally I am NOT prepared for having intercourse with a man. I just don't know what to do...thanks for the responses though!


~Monica

[bexcelica]

you know my screenname if you wanna talk... if he wasnt drunk it was even more f*ed up. dont let him get away with that.

[sage]

You should talk to him about it. People don't talk enough. Relationships are always screwed up (even friendships, work rel'ps, etc.) because people don't talk and say how they feel. Tell him how his advances made you feel (using "I feel/felt" statements, rather than accusatory "you-statements") Your goal is for your friend to UNDERSTAND YOU and get to know you better. THEN sit and listen to HIS feelings, and why he did what he did, without judging him. So you get to know HIM better. When you do get to know him better, you may not want to befriend him anymore. Or you may understand something you never realized. Either way, it's win-win.

[tayda]

WoW! That's really shady. When I first read your post I assumed that perhaps he was tipsy as well and read your acceptance of sharing a bed with him as you being "willing" in the state you were both in. However, if he wasn't intoxicated, then I think he was taking advantage of you. Perhaps he still thought that b.c you were willing to go to bed with him that you were willing to have sex with him. However, he probably wouldn't have done it if you were sober.