Terrible days: panic, wife fed up, nausea

[lewisr]

You guys,



I know I have been really "needy" here since my time joining but
frankly I don't know where else to lean for support right now. Once my
medical insurance kicks in on Oct 1, I am going to seek professional
help. But in the mean time, I just don't know what to do.



I had four separate panic attacks (emet-related) yesterday ALONE! Dang
it, I don't even know where to begin. Suffice it to say these were
run-of-the-mill, nausea/SV fearing panic attacks, just really bad ones.
I have had a chest cold for the past two days and without getting
GRAPHIC, the post-nasal drip makes for nausea (let me know if you don't
know what I mean), which set me on edge. I also misconstrue the typical
cold symptoms (slight fever, headache, etc.) as sv-beginnings.



Well to make my long story somewhat shorter, my wife got fed up with
me. We were having a silly argument about something and then out of
left field she was like "I'm not the crazy one with the phobias and the
anxiety attacks."



That really hurt because I try so hard to keep my emet from her and
keep it from harming her life- I can't tell you how many times (even
yesterday!) I just wanted to stay in bed under the covers but got my
stuff together enough to take her out to dinner, or whatever.



So after getting 3 hours sleep last night, I come in to the office this
morning to see the dreaded "I was SO SICK with a stomach bug this
weekend and can't come in today" emails from TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE - I
am bugging out!! I can only wash my hands so much but we all use the
same doorknobs, same kitchen (I can try REAL hard to skip the bathroom
today but that is going to be next to impossible unless I go home for
lunch) - but there is stuff I can't avoid like the air, the door, the
copier, etc.



I feel like I am trapped - and can't escape. My last panic attack was
at 1:30am - I woke up n* (which in my sane mind was probably hunger
because I didn't eat much) but it was that kind of half awake-half
asleep-half dreaming kind of panic. And I woke up n* or empty or
whatever but I am having oatmeal now - though it is giving me
heartburn. Also I had no choice but to use the plastic cup and spoon
and hot water machine in the office - so scared!



This is really bad... how can I avoid the SV if it is so obviously going around the office?



Thanks everybody,

Lewis

[mitch04133]

I am so sorry that you are having a rough time. And, you should never feel that you are being to needy here, this is why we are here, and he will always help the best we can when you are not feeling well or having a panic attack. With that being said, you don't know for sure if these people actually had a sv. It could of been different things. It is Monday, and saying thatyou are v* is the best excuse not to come into work after a long weekend. And if they are sick, to people other than us emets, a sv can mean d*, it can mean that they had an upset stomach, it could mean they ate something that didn't sit well, it could mean so many different things, even that they had a rough weekend of drinking. So try notto panic just yet. At least they didn't come into work, and if it was a sv, their not contagious until symptoms show. The best thing you could do, is keep a bottle of antibacterial gel at your desk, and keep your hands away from your face. And if you want to eat something, wash your hands, then use the gel at your desk.


As far as your wife goes, it is sad that people have to throw our fears and anxieties in our face. No one but us truly knows what you are going through, and how it truly affects us. It is hard enough for us to deal with this phobia, but when someone isn't always supporitve, it makes our anxiety worse. As you know, my boyfriend just broke up with me, partly because of my emet. I never hid my fears, I layed them all on the table and said this is me, take it or leave it, and he left it. You obvisouly married your wife cause she is who you want to spend your life with, and maybe you should sit down and explain your phobia. I think the more somebody wants to understand it the more supportive they will be. Don't ever feel embarassed or ashamed, cause this is who you are, and you are trying your best, and that is all you can do. She married, and I think if she knew more about what was going on, she could try to be more supportive.


Good luck, and feel better. And remember you always have us, we will always be here. And don't worry about catching a sv.


Michele

[SimplyMe]

Like Michele said no need to feel "needy" it's what we are all here for, to give and seek help. I agree also that they arent' contagious when you were around them so the office should be "safe" and also that it could have been many things other that an sv. People do seem to overuse the word and people also get food poisoning and believe it to be a sv. Wet ones makes little portable wipes that come individually wrappen in packs of 24. Pick some of those up andbring them w/ you anytime you need the bathroom to wipe off the doors, sink knobs etc. They are anti bacterial and that way you can feel a bit better about the restroom and copier etc.


I remember when I was getting a bunch of panic attacks per day and it sucked! I give you credit for being able to go to work even, I wasn't able to when I went thru that. I know the 1st of Oct. seems far off but it's really soo and then you can get some prof. help and start feeling better.


As for your wife, it is hurtful when people throw these things in our face. From what youv'e described of her otherwise she seems like shes very supportive and loving towards you and accepting. She was probably frustrated and just blurted out the most hurtful thing she could. It's not right but she probably feels horrible about it.


Anyhow, hope this helps you and that you'e feeling better! And again, never feel you can't post for fear of being too "needy"

[zane2673]

HI Lewis, I'm so sorry your having a hard time right now. I can relate I'll have weeks where I'm fine and my emet doesn't plague me in the bit. Then all of the sudden usually at night for me I'll have anxiety attacks that I'm going to be sick or my kids will be. My husband has no idea how bad I freak out.


Like you when I hear of someone being sick I want to run in the other direction far, far away. When people say they have been sick at work. I take all the necessary precautions, hand gel, santizing wipes small can of lysol in my purse, and wait to go to the bathroom until I go home. I tell myself if I'm not in direct contact I'll be fine. I stand at least three or more feet away from the person afflicated. LOL!!!


As far as the comment your wife said, I'm sure she just said that in the heat of the disagreement, and if you talk to her about it I'm sure she'll tell you the same thing.


Try to take it easy. I have constant allergies and know how post nasal drip can reek havoc on your insides. I take Mucinex to keep me from coughing to much and a variety of sinus medications to dry me out.


Good luck and hang in there!!!

[lewisr]

Thanks again everyone for your compassion, understanding and perhaps most important, empathy.



My wife and I apologized to each other for the things we said, and
we've agreed to try to prevent arguments from escalating to that level
in the future. I guess it just comes with the territory.



I have been very tense due to the SV going around the office. I have
been washing my hands and using Purell very, very frequently.



A short while ago I am afraid I may have doomed myself though. I
spilled some soup on my chin and needed to get a napkin from the
kitchen to wipe myself off. I took a napkin from the middle of the
stack, but I am concerned that SV particules could be in there from one
of the SV employees and made their way into my mouth.



Is that possible? The napkins are kept right by the sink.



Thanks again,

Lewis

[gubba]

Lewis,


You are no different than any of us. Needy is something that we all are and that is why we have each other here. We "NEED" each other. My husband understands my phobia, but he can never totally know what I go through because I try to keep some of it to myself since telling him, makes me deal with it outloud and that isn't always easy for me to hear...hence I do not do therapy. I know how silly it sounds to people who don't know what it feels like to live inour minds where V* is a constant fear.


To cover your topic I want to tell you that non-emets, use the V* thing and SV thing a lot even when they aren't sick. I know people tell co-workers all the time about V*ing, so they can get out of work. As hard as it seems for any of us, it is almost a joke to others. I wish I could ever see it as a joke, but it is a great excuse, so don't really assume that they are really with and SV. Secondly, washing your hands will be your most important thing to keeping from getting that virus. I just heard the other day on a medical show that Purell and washing hands cuts down on stomach related illnesses by more than half in a household. Imagine that you aren't really cleaning up the toilets, or the V* and you are even safer.


That said, I know how hard it is for you. Good luck and I am thinking of you.