My son won’t sleep

[mommyof3]

It's 4:15 am here and my 3 yr old son has been awake for three hours. I am so afraid he is awake because he is sick and will v*. After he had been awake for an hour he said he had to go potty, and although he is potty trained wears pull-ups at night. When I took him potty he had poo'ed a little "rock" so he's obviously constipated because he went in his pants (hardly ever does). But after I changed his pull-up, he still wouldn't sleep. Right now he is lying on the love seat staring at the ceiling and I am over here on the couch on my laptop praying he will go to sleep.


And, isn't it crazy how this emet goes, but I'm so afraid he's sick, I even experimented by lettting him get up and play legos for a while. He seemed fine. But I just hate where my mind goes, especially at night. I just keep watching him like a hawk; when he yawns I'm worried he's getting ready to v*. I give him 10 minutes or so but then when I see his eyes are still open I ask him why he's still awake and he just smiles at me.


Now we've both been up half the night; I have to get up in 2 hours to get my older to off to school, but I wonder if he finally falls asleep if I should keep him home from pre-school if only because he hasn't slept.


Thanks for reading if you have. I'm just so nervous I needed to get it off my chest. Does anybody else do this with their kids? I hate how I just assume he is awake because he is sick.

[gubba]

I do the same thing. i just wrote in yesterday that I hate naps since my son wakes up groggy and I fear he is sick or will be. I get very scared in the night when he wakes up and all i think about is the V* thing.


Sorry your night was so bad. I wish we could all be right there for the people who need us, but I suppose this is the next best thing.


I'm certain he was fine. 3 year olds start those strange dreams and wake up a lot. My son is also 3 and he usually goes right back to sleep, but we do chit chat plenty at night. My son scares me since he doesn't even wear a pull up to sleep and I fear he will wet the bed and then we will be up all night after that as well.

[ontariogirl]

I remember going through the same thing with Tyler. I was on my own then. He woke up and I am thinking oh crap here we go. One week on my own and this kid is sick. I got his blanket and pillow, he was on the couch while I was across the room sitting on the chair praying to God he isn't sick. Funny thing that I did was put sheets underneath him covering the couch, and on the floor. He wasn't sick at all but I was so tired in the morning and like you getting my oldest kid off to school. Tyler did this for manynights. He learned that if he gets up he goes on the couch and watches tv for awhile until he falls asleep. Being as scared as I was that he will be sick l let this continue. Than I thought this is nuts, ok the kid has me hooked on the "Gotcha" mom. He started again and I took him back to his room, he would come back out and I did this over and over until he stayed in his bed.
Little kids are funny. Being up doesn't always mean they are sick. Maybe he just wanted to be up, and being constipated he felt a little off. You must be feeling so tired this morning?
There is such a difference with moms with emet and moms who are not. Emet moms think the worse and let the kid stay up with non emet moms they send the kid back to bed without thinking twice. I think of my own mother with the 3 of us kids, she wouldn't let us stay up, it was back to bed. If we were sick of course we were on the couch with the pail. Remember we are great moms we just have this phobia that at times has a strangle hold on us.

[rileyl]

Ackkk! I have been here many times before. Ontariogirl, you are so right. The non-phobic parent just sends the kid back to bed, but I cannot imagine doing that because "what if they get sick." Staying up with them gives me a sense (may a false one) of being in control of the situation. One time, my daughter woke me up at 4:00 a.m. and v'd almost immediately after. I had a really hard time with that because I was groggy and it took me a while to come to grips with what was going on. I had a panic attack on the spot and almost passed out. How silly really, but I have accepted that these little "accomodations" (staying up with them, having a pail at the ready) work for me. I am willing to do them because they help me get through it when my kids are sick.


I hope all is well mommyof3.

[mommyof3]

Thank you for your replies everyone . He ended up FINALLY falling asleep around 5. He is fine--he even woke back up at 7:30 with no problem ready for preschool!! Little turd!! My niece came over for a playdate so she and my daughter played and played this afternoon while my son napped and I rested. I need to wake him up soon so he doesn't pull the same thing again tonight. If I worked outside the home full time, I would be in trouble.


I hate how bad the emet gets at night. Right now, during the day, I had no problem being firm with him and making him take a nap. But at night, I just get so anxious and almost lose it!I think what added to it is that my daughter was sick last week and I was afraid he was catching it.

[gubba]

I'm glad he was fine and it is difficult for emets to stay calm . especially at night.


I hope for better sleep for you tonight.

[btiller]

I am the same way with my son who will be 3 at the end of this month. When my son does V, he wont do it anywhere but in atowel and this bothers me tremendously. I dont mind if he or my daughter does it but its more that he can not tell me when he is going to do it and that he wont do it in a bucket or anything. I dont know if it is the element of surprise or what but like someone has said, if i think he may be sick, I will cover the couch, his bed and mine with old sheets and towels. If I think he is goign to V, i will run to get a towel and once he sees me coming with it, he says "no towel mommy" I guess that is his way of telling me he is fine. [img]smileys/smilies_08.gif[/img]

[mommyof3]

I agree. There is nothing I hate more than to be surprised with it in the middle of the night. Knock wood he has been fine. We are trying to adjust his sleep schedule. The problem is he gets tired in the afternoon but if I let him nap, he won't sleep at night. If he absolutely is exhausted and falls asleep in the afternoon, I let him sleep no longer than an hour and a half and put him to bed at nightan hour later. That seems to help.


You are new here? Welcome!!

[worriedwendy]

I am a mom of three and every night I worry, I actually take benedryl at night so I can sleep and be relaxed. I hate the silence of the night, I would much prefer them to be sick during the day, why is it that most kids get sick at night. I don't like them to fall asleep before 9 pm because once my son fell asleep at 7:30 and then woke up at midnight sick and V* about an hour later. I was shaking the whole time and I hate that feeling when they wake you up crying that their tummy hurts. At least during the day their tummy hurting could be from anything, but they rarely wake up saying that unless they truly are sick. I hate that I fear this, it is so paralyzing at times. Knock on wood they stay healthy.

[gubba]

Wendy,


I do the same thing. I take Benadryl a lot, as it makes me relax and actually feel good. I take a half some days in the afternoon, so that I can relax enough to make dinner. I take the other half to sleep and relax at night so that I don't worry about my son.


I also had a similar thing happen with the sleep and do exactly like you. One night, he fell asleep at 6:45. At 10:00 he woke up and V*d and again at 11:00 p.m. Since then, I never let him go to sleep until 9:00 and I fight to keep him awake for that awful fear. The other times that he has V*d have all been during the day and that is easier to handle, but none of it is easy by any means.

[btiller]

I am like that too when it comes to sleeping. I take Ambien every night. If I want to get really sleepy quick, I take Benedrylwith my Ambien. LOL I take it for my nausea though more than anything. I wish I knew why sickness seem worse for kids at night. My kids could be fine all day long then once it gets dark, all the symptoms come back. I give my son Bendryl to get him to sleep when he has a hard time going to bed. Our squadron's former commander used to do the same with his kids when they would move. They would give their kids Benedryl so that they could get their unpacking done. All day, every day, I open all the blinds in the kitchen and living room. When my son is sick, I can not close the blinds in out living room because I get so anxious and nervous and start to feel like the walls are closing in on me if the blinds are closed. I love that my daughter can make it to a bathroom or trashcan. When my daughter was this age, she was getting sick in a bucket, but not him. There has to be a way for him to do it IN something. I understand that he cannot let me know yet and i am fine with that part. I have even tried to put a towel in a bucket but he wouldnt do it in the bucket. GRRRRR Why me??? LOL

[chicajojobe]

I feel so sorry for you guys. This is just showing me how hard it is to be a mom with emet.



I'm a little surprised at all of you who I hear take benadryl every night. I could never do that.



I'm afraid to take sleep aids because I'm afraid if I am sick I won't
be able to wake up enough to get to the bathroom. I'm also afraid to
take like anti-anxiety drugs because I'm sort of afraid that taking
drugs that alter mood will like make me loose part of myself. Like I'll
feel different or I won't be as inspired when I try to write.



It's funny because for a hypochondriac I'm also a little drug phobic,
or should I say drug dependancy phobic. Maybe because I've always been
told that if you take something too much it won't help you when you
actually need it, or maybe because I've heard about how unpleasant
detox is and yes I know that applies more to alcohol, cocaine, heroine
addictions rather then benadryl but since when is a phobia logical?

[worriedwendy]

I remember before I had kids someone once told me that it is different with your own kids and it is easier to deal with. I couldn't disagree more, it is actually harder because they are your own flesh and blood and because they are a part of me it reminds me when they are sick that I am still vulnerable to getting sick, even though it has been 28 years, knock on wood. Does that make sense. But I would have to say, that even though I live with this phobia everyday, the benefits of having children, way out weigh the risks of dealing with this. Everyone has their issues, my friends sometimes yell at their kids and can't get a grip, some of them have bad marriages, my point is everyone has something they have to work through in life on a daily basis that effects not only themselves but everyone else around them. I am a good parent besides this one issue and I love beinga mom and the joy they bring my husband and I is irreplaceable. We have a good marriage and the kids feel secure. I wouldn't trade it for anything.


As far as drugs like Benedryl and anti-anxiety, it really depends how people tolerate them. I take benedryl because it helps my allergies and to sleep, I don't feel so drowsy that I wouldn't wake up if I needed to. I am a very light sleeper, too light, I hear everything. I take xanax occasionally but it hasn't really helped with my emet, it has helped with the anxiety I feel with my husband having testicular cancer though. I don't drink for obvious reasons. That is all for now, I have a tendency to go on and on. I hope this makes sense.[img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[btiller]

I agree with Wendy about the meds. I take my Ambien just about every night and while it may knock me out, I wil wake up from a dead sleep when my kids cry. My daughter takes care of herself pretty much already (she's 8) but my son still wakes up at night and I can still tend to him and the Ambien is not even a factor. I can go right back to sleep if its still dark outside. There have been times when I've taken meds to help me sleep and had to be up with my son all night. Once you have kids, most of the time, the natural instinct takes over and you do what you have to do.. Everyone is different.

[gubba]

I am a very light sleeper and when I take Benadryl I can wake up in a second and run if need be. Nothing knocks me out too much to hear him. i think you are right about it not being easier with your kids getting sick.. I so think that I handle it because he is my child and I love him and my husband the way you do. It is amazing how it pulls on your heart when they are V*ing and for the obvious reason that we are so fearful of it, but also, watching your own baby, no matter what age, feeling so scared and sick and helpless and there is little we can do but comfort them and I sometimes fear that I am not enough comfort.


The joy that my son has brought far outweighs the fear of V* and I have been an emet my whole life. I think about it 24/7 and it scares me constantly, but I cannot describe the love that one feels for their kids no matter what.


Wendy, I hate all that you are going throught with your husband. I know how very difficult it can be, but you are always so strong when you write and you must be a wonderful person to deal with all you deal with.


Where in the US do you live?

[btiller]

I am not sure who you were asking but I am in North Carolina. [img]smileys/smilies_08.gif[/img]

[gubba]

I'm in TN. Where in NC? I had an old boyfriend in High Point

[btiller]

Fayetteville..Pope Air Force Base to be exact. We love it here but are really upset and sad that the base is going to be turned over to the Army in a few years.

[worriedwendy]

I live in Southern California, Oxnard to be exact. For an emet, it is great, because most of the time it is nice outside. I grew up in Wisconsin and I hated the winters when my family was sick, cause we were stuck indoors and know where to go to get away from it. BUt we do visit family almost every year in Illinois in the winter, and I always panick being that close to so many people, someone always ends up with an SV, and I am like a mad women with my lysol and hand sanitizer. Fortunately my cousin is an emet also, so at least we can both relate (she is my age and has one child)


Gubba, I am trying to remain strong, I pray a lot and run, I am actually running a half marathon next weekend in Long Beach. Running helps release my anxiety. We find out tomorrow whether my husband needs to start chemo soon. I actually am not as nervous as I was in the beginning, I think I will be surprised if he won't need it. I am expecting it and since I have been posting, everyone has been so supportive and encouraging. I know I can get through it, I am sure I will be posting a lot during that time.

[btiller]

You sound like me when I'm sick. I feel alot better outside. When I was a kid and was sick, my mom or dad would take me outside and I would feel better. I feel like the walls are closing in on me indoors sometimes.

[gubba]

i have relatives and best friend in San Diego and it is great being able to walk outdoors anytime to clear a clogged mind full of bad thoughts. We dohavenice weather in Nashville, but, it is about to get very cool and wet and then snow and ice for a few months.


i do love spring and summer and fall!!!!

[harmonygirl72]

Hey, WorriedWendy, I am from Illinois and I have relatives in Wisconsin, so I was just wondering where you are from and where in IL you visit? Maybe we can meet when you come up sometime!


Mary

[worriedwendy]

My family lives in Peoria, Il and my friends live in Waukesha, WI. We were going to come at Thanksgiving but we just found out my husband needs to start chemo next week to go on for 9 weeks. SO we won't be going anywhere. Trust me I would rather be going on our trip than dealing with this. [img]smileys/smilies_11.gif[/img]

[gubba]

Wendy,


i am so sorry that you need to go through this, and I wish I knew what to say to make it better. I did tell you once before about my cousin who had testicular cancer and he did great with the chemo. He went on to have 3 beautiful kids and he has been cancer free for over 9 years. It is never easy and I want you to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. I know you would rather go on the trip, but look at it this way...You don't need to go to all the cold weather and get colds and flu...you get to stay home and rest.


I hope you guys have a great weekend and we are all here for you. you know that we are here for non-emet support too.

[harmonygirl72]

Wendy,


I am so sorry about what you are going through. I am in the Chicago area, so I think I am closer to Waukesha than Peoria, but they are both nice areas. You will be in my thoughts and if you ever need someone to talk to, I am here.


Mary