Starting with the stick man

[kel12347]

Well, I'm getting back into the exposure therapy. I'm still in the process of switching therapists, but I really wanted to get started on exposure therapy. The meds are going okay, I have to increase the Prozac soon, and I assume once that starts working that I will wean off the Klonopin, and keep it only for "as needed" times.


I did my stick man therapy last night. I had my b/f draw the picture (I tried, but it just ended up making me laugh b/c I have no artistic ability) of the man with a line coming out of his mouth. Took 14 minutes to get the anxiety down to zero.


I also learned self-hypnosis from my hypnotherapist yesterday. He gave me a CD to work with, and I'm pretty sure I got hypnotized during our session. I am having little panic jolts when my body starts to sink really deeply into relaxation. I suppose after 15 years of anxiety, my body is like "what's this? this is all wrong. stop it" But I did the CD last night, and the jolts were less intense, so they'll probably go away with practice. I notice that with the self hypnosis, the relaxation is much deeper than it was with my guided relaxation or progressive muscle relaxation. So maybe this is the technique that works best for me.


So that's my update....I'm trying to hit the phobia every which way I can, because I am determined to get over this. I am done with letting this thing run my life.

[crazy_me_84]

Heya! well done! it must've been tough for you and I'm glad your bf is there to land a helping hand! Anxiety at zero is great!


What does self hypnosis involve and how do you do it? I do muscle relaxation but I find that it isn't that great and deep breathing only helps a bit, I wish it could work more. How does self hypnosis work?


xxx

[kel12347]

My hypnotherapist gave me a tape that he recorded that's supposed to induce hypnosis. Unfortunately, I did the tape today and relaxed so much that I fell asleep! I'm going to work through Sage's hierarchy, with a couple of items added (like people talking about vomiting - my therapist is going to bring people in for that, but that's higher up on my scale.) As far as relaxation, try a good guided relaxation CD, they may even have some self-hypnosis CDs out there.


I am just SOOO determined to get rid of this. August was the worst month for me, I had constant super high anxiety, I couldn't eat or sleep, and I could barely work. I refuse to live like that, and I'm going to do whatever it takes to get better.

[crystalmom]

Good for you Kel! It's time that most of us just get darn right MAD at this thing! It is such a pain in the ass, isn't it? You keep at it, and let us know how you are doing! [img]smileys/smilies_39.gif[/img]


Crystal

[sage]

Great going, Kel. Keep working on that stick man until you can look at him with zero anxiety EVERY TIME. Til you're bored with him. Once you're bored with him, then look at him again and do everything inyour power to imagine he's a read guy, really vomiting. See if your anxiety goes up. If it does, keep doing this exercise until it doesn't.


Let your therpaist know I suggested this, also.

[kel12347]

Hi Sage. I've got therapy tonight, and I'm going to let my therapist know what you said. I can get my anxiety about the stick man with the line down to 0 in about five minutes now, and the initial anxiety only starts at a 10 (on a 100 point scale). So that's a good thing. Should I move to the picture of the stick man actually vomiting, and once I'm done with him imagine he's a real guy, or should I imagine the stick man with the line is a real guy?


My boyfriend drew the stick man actually vomiting last night for me. I watched him draw it, for exposure therapy, and 'cause I just can't draw. I actually found it kind of funny. My boyfriend said, based on the colors of the vomit, that they guy ate raw hamburger and green beans. Yuck! No wonder the poor stick man is sick! LOL!

[kel12347]

My therapist and I decided I would try the vomiting stick man, then take a couple weeks to imagine it's a real guy. The question now is who do I imagine he is? I'm not very good at visualization in the first place, so it would be easier if I had a picture of a person in my head to attach the vomiting to. Obviously I don't want it to be someone I know or care about, 'cause that could cause more triggers.


Also, I've heard that the medication D-cycloserine (DCS) can be helpful in stimulating learning when unlearning fears. Once I'm further up on my scale (probably at the last step, because I'd like to do most of this on my own), I'm going to discuss with my therapist and my psychiatrist whether this might be something helpful for me.


Sage, when you did exposure therapy, did you do it every day, once a day? That's what I"m doing right now. Well, I missed one day, b/c I had a late hypnotherapy session and it was after 10 when I got home, but other than that, I've been doing it every day. I just want to make sure I'm doing it often enough for the brain re-wiring process to start.

[shiva]

Kel.


My psychologist wanted me to take DCS while I did the most intense part of my therapy as well, but my psychiatrist decided we shouldn't. I think it sounds like a great additive to the treatment, I was very excited about using it. Let me know if your therapist decides to let you go with it. It will be interesting to hear if it seems to help!

[sage]

Your docs know best about using the medication...so I won't comment on that.


And yes, i think I did exposure therapy every day, until it got really really intense, and then I would probably do it 2 or 3 times before I went back to the therapist that week.


Basically, the more you do it, the better it gets and the faster you heal. Some people go into intensive treatment programs for like 2 weeks, where they work on it 6 or 8 hours a day.

[kel12347]

I'm moving on to looking at the stick man vomiting until anxiety is 0, and then trying to imagine he's a real guy vomiting. Except I can't imagine a real guy. It's not that I'm afraid to imagine it, my imagination just sucks, or maybe I don't know quite how to imagine it. If I say to myself, "It's a real guy vomiting" my brain says "no it's not, it's a stick man."


Any tips? I'm seeing my therapist on Tuesday, but hope to make some progress before then.

[sage]

It's hard to imagine it's a real guy, when it's only a stick man. But try closing your eyes and imagining a real guy right after you look at the stick man. If that gets too tense, though, then stop. You can stop whenever you want. Too much anxiety is not good. You want to keep your anxiety level between 4 and 7 out of 10. Higher than that will retraumatize you. Lower may not do much good.