My husband and I had went out to dinner tonight. My aunt volunteered to keep my kids so we could go. We never get to go out by ourselves. Anyway, my husband wanted to go to Red Lobster...for some reason I really wasnt hungry. I swear I think I am becoming agorophobic (afraid to leave my house).
Well I dropped Madison off at my aunts...Conner wanted to go over my mother in laws. I was worried to drop him off for fear someone was sick over there[img]smileys/smilies_05.gif[/img]. We get to the restaurant and have to wait like 10 minutes. I hate sitting in there because I wonder if anyone has sat there that has been sick. We get a table and I am wondering "I hope the people before us were not sick" UGH! I hate this sh*t. I am sitting there thinking "I hope the employees are all in good health, especially the ones handling my food." I dont say any of this to my husband because he would really think I was pathetic.
I hate this because it is my main focus. I know "it" is out there making people sick and I want to avoid it at all cost. This phobia really consumes a lot of my energy, thinking, time............I am really going to get help for it. It affects me everyday unless I am home and dont go anywhere.
I am constantly faced with this fear whenever I have to leave my house. When I go to work (of course, I am a nurse. Boy, I am in a bad field huh?)when I go to the grocery store (which I actually like to do), when I go to the doctor, when I take my kids to the doctor. When Madison was sick the doctor asked me if I wanted to take her to the hospital...I said "Not really unless you think its necessary and she said no" This was when she was running this fever with no symptoms. The hospital is the LAST place I want to go!
Sorry...had to get that out[img]smileys/smilies_06.gif[/img] It is an awful fear...