Im new! Hello everyone!

[ladyhotwheels]

I am so glad I found this website. I have felt so alone for so long with this phobia. No one I know understands it. I am 25 years old and I feel like lately it has gotten worse. I have found that this phobia has made me afraid to do so many things and prevents me from living my life. I hate to go places alone and I get panic attacks when I am in crowds. I always have to know where a bathroom or trashcan is. If I can't find one I freak out and start feeling nauseous. I have IBS as well so this just makes my problem worse. Everytime I have an IBS related symptom I automatically think I am getting sick and I am sure I am going to vomit. I have been unemployed now for about a year and a half. I was laid off from an elementary school. Looking back now I dont know how I worked with all of those kids without freaking out everyday. If I have to be around kids now I hate it...I feel like I cant breath around them because I fear they have some sort of sickness I am going to catch. This fear has gotten so bad over since I have been laid off I am having difficulty getting a job. Today I was suppose to go take a test for a job but I started having panic attacks while I was getting ready to go I just called and rescheduled it. I was around my sick cousins earlier this week so I have been papranoid about getting sick all week and I was sure if I went to take that test that I was going to be sick at the test. I know my fears are completely irrational and my family makes me feel like I am ridiculous for thinking these things. I feel so alone and I just want this fear to go away. It makes for a very unhappy life. I feel like unless I conquer this fear my life is never going to move forward. I would love to hear anyones advice or just anything from anyone. It is good to know that I am not alone. Thanks for taking the time to read this

[rachel1989]

Hey! :-)

I can completely relate to your story. I really can. I have struggled with v* for years and years, I am 21 btw. I have now managed my fear down into one thing- contagious v*. If I see, hear or see anyone being ill and no that I cannot catch it, I'm ok- uneasy but I am fine. I have a couple of tips for getting out and about working again. Voluntary work- just a few hours a week and gradually built it up when you are more confident and get involved in more projects. With volunary work, if you have to cancel etc. due to anxiety at least you are not missing out on a wage from it and with volutnary work here, in the UK you can find something to suit your own lifestyle, surely it is similar in the U.K.

Bottle of water to help a tight throat which can make you feel sick! :-( take some sips and deep breaths. Mints, chewing gum are good as well. Pressure points on the wrist are good too, carry a chilled bottle of water when travelling, hold it against your wrists when travelling. Or a "sniff spot" have a hankie with you when away from your comfort zone that has your favourite perfume smell- something not too strong and something that you can take comfort in. You say also you need to be near a trash can- carry a small carrier bag with you as a safety blanket. Anti emetics are good too for days you really can't face but you have to go out for a voluntary placement etc.

I hope this helps you :-) you are not alone and you will have lots of support here on this site, Rachel X

[ladyhotwheels]

Rachel, thank you so much for resonding! I think I may try the volunteer work thing. That is a great idea!
You say you have mangaed your fear...may I ask how you did so? Did you do counseling or anything like that? I am going back to see my therapist. I was seeing her for a while but I dont think she really knows how to help my fear so hopefully she can refer me to someone.
I am also going to try to carry a bag with me like you said. That would make me feel more relaxed. I always have mints and water with me. That is a security thing for me. Thank you so much for your advice!

[rachel1989]

You are welcome :-) I love this website because we can share advice. The bag thing helps me- because If I am feeling anxious I say "Ok, you are in control you have a bag, you are in control". I have managed my fear through the support of special people in my life- a boyfriend whose aunty is an emet. Don't worry though, you don't need a boyfriend to get you through this- any friend or family member or a boyfriend can help you if they know and understand your anxiety. My boyfriend is WONDERFUL, he never pressurises me to eat if I am feeling n* and keeps food aside for me if I want to "nibble later" . Tells me comforting things etc. it really helps. Sometimes however, I faced it the tough way and if I can do it that way you can to. Going out places when I didn't want to was so tough but again- I said to myself you have your safety nets to help make a v* situation easier.

In terms of me not being afraid to non contagious v* it has been exposure :-( didn't plan it that way but it helped and it wasn't scary. Drunk people v* on my feet, siblings being car sick on. The more I was exposed I just told myself, not gonna catch it- you are cool. Take your sniff hankie out and focus on the smell and the good thoughts :-) I eventually became desensistised to it. Don't get me wrong I still find it horrible and disgusting and would rather not see it!!! Maybe start exposure therapy, that might be a good idea?

I would advise you to try the volunteer thing- build up how many hours you do. I know you are able to do this and I think you are a strong person because you have recognised you have a fear and I know you are going to be able to fight it too. Keep your chin up- have your safety nets and you are going to be taking steps in the right direction and quickly. xx

[rachel1989]

Sorry to answer you question in a simple answer- No counselling from a professional but words of encouragement from boyfriends aunt who has been an emet for 30 years

[ladyhotwheels]

Thanks for all your advice1 I had a boyfriend who was really understadning. I was sick last may and he was so wonderful and patient. Unfortunately we are not together anymore. No one is my family really understands it. But I am going back to therapy next week. She has mentioned the exposure therapy to me but it freaks me out. She says the only way to get over it is to do it. Which isnt true because I was sick in May and it still freaks me out!
Anyway, thanks again for all your advice. It has made me feel better =)