Why we have to look

[sage]

This is a copy of another post of minethat you might never find:


We focus intently on graphic/gross things because part of the brain's fear system involves something called "attentiveness". It sounds mild but it's very important and a very strong instinct. Looking at it this way helps: if someone were pointing a gun at you, you would not see, hear or feel anything else around you. And you would probably stare at the gun, focussing intently with your eyes and frozen in that position. This is because the gun presents a life-threatening danger to you, and your brain tells you that you must "watch it" in case it makes a sudden move. Now this instinct is important when it comes to bears or rattlesnakes or whatnot, but with vomit or guns it seems kind of ridiculous. However, depending on the severity of the phobia, most phobics will find themselves frozen and staring at someone being sick, or vomit on the road or whatever (even staring at people who say they feel sick)- even though that seems counter-productive.


Thing is, it IS counter-productive. One way to begin healing is to FORCE YOURSELF to look away. Say to yourself (if you can) "what the hell am I staring at this for? It's not going to run toward me and kill me!"Then look away. The less you focus on the scary thing, the better.


I hope this helps a lot of people who had this same question for a long time (I know I did - and was fascinated at the answer).

[Louise]

Shouldn't you be telling us to look? as a sort of exposure theropy?


But i do actually try not to look, but i'm just a nosey person [img]smileys/smilies_02.gif[/img]lmao

[clairethebear]

I try not to look but I tend to keep checking over a period of days as to whether the v has disappeared and can only do that by taking a look at where it was. Also I look so that I can avoid stepping in it.

[mystikal star]

I always look and never quite understood why.

[2jo2]

I always look too, and I thought it was my need to control, that way I wouldn't be surprised if the person was sick, or if I needed to get out of the way... that it's an instinct behavior gone awry is fascinating. So now that we're aware of it, maybe we can do something to change it as a first step??

[sweetfreak]

Hmmm, I am a bit confused by this. The fact is, I don't want to look at v* or at someone doing it. My first instinct is to look the other way, which is what I do.

[terified girl]

What you said about the gun thing is so totally true. I never understood why when I had a gun pointing at my face all I could do was stare at it and everything around me did fade away, I guess you just helped me with that.


But I am confused like the rest of us about what your trying to tell us...its a good thing if we don't look and don't stare?????

[sage]

Sweet - if you don't look, then that's ok - this post is more for people who do and wonder why.


Apparently, being frozen looking is not "exposure therapy". It's some sort of exposure, but not therapy I guess. If it was therapy, then over time it would help, and usually it doesn't.


NOT looking - forcing yourself to THINK instead of just staring helps to override some of the fear circuits in the brain, which is helpful. I'm suggesting that if you're the type to get fixed upon it, then try not to KEEP LOOKING. I'm not by any means suggesting avoidance - trying never to look, or running away. But some people wonder why they HAVE TO look, and keep staring and seem frozen in this. That's the behavior I'm addressing here. For those folks, "breaking the cycle" all the while talking to yourself about how you're alright, and you're not the one sick, and you're not in any danger...that's what will be ultimately helpful.


Again, this thread doesn't apply to everyone - just those who get sort of paralyzed looking.

[sweetfreak]

Sage,


Yeah, that was why I was confused. Because I would think in my case it would be better to look. I don't want to see it, I don't want to hear it, so if it's anywhere around me, I run away. Would it be better in my case to maybe try to look? Maybe it would not seem so horrible if I did. Of course, I am not sure if I could do such a thing at this point anyway.

[clairethebear]

I only tend to look when it is on the pavement and the deliverer is not around, but if I actually see someone doing the deed then i can't look and my instinct is to leg it. What does that mean?

[mbs730]

I went on a European tour back 7 years ago and when I
was in Innsbruk Austria there was v, and I kept looking at it. But
after looking at it I was all shaky and freaky. I guess I am a bit of
an enigma because you would think that the incident would have put me
off from travelling again but I still enjoy travelling and have since
then, not seeing v either. Being stuck home with 2 young kids also
kinda makes the idea quite tempting at times!



Miriam

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[sage]

Clare - I think when you see it on the road your brain reacts with the "freezing" reaction (staring)...but if someone is doing it you automatically flee. That was me, too. I did NOT stare at someone vomiting, just at vomit sitting around. ALSO the same phenomenon is in operation when we ask a million questions of someone who feels sick, or has been sick. It's the phenomenon of "focussing" - attentiveness on the thing we're most scared of. If asking the questions eventually makes you feel better and more calm - great. If it makes you more scared, though, then it's better to try to keep quiet and just calm yourself down. (Easier said than done, I know).