I cannot stand Emet anymore.

[youngemet222]

I feel like commiting suicide right now because all I do ALL day is worry about vomiting. I mean, I never get much support when I panic, either. My mother seems to think that, if I'm panicing, it isn't a bad thing for me, but it's a bad thing for her because she gets annoyed whenI ask her, "Do you think I'm going to get sick?".Most of the time, I do not even post on here when I am in panic becuase most of the time, I just assume it is just some stupid thing that Ishouldn't be panicing over. All I've been doing for the past few days is worry about vomit. What do I do to keep myself from thinking that I want to die?

[faith-marilyn]

Hey sweetie
I felt a bit like that last nite too *hugs* Just keep in your mind that one day you WILL be better, maybe tomorrow, maybe next week! you dont know what is going to happen, so just sit tight until something does, the something that will chance your life completely and make you the happiest person alive )
Also try to remember that its very very unlikey that you will be sick, ive only been sick about 5 times in my life, and there are adults (And i mean 50 years old) who have only ever been sick that many times, and they arent even emets!
Just keep cool and keep telling yourself that eventually this will be behind you and you can enjoy an amazing life - just look at sage! She can do it, so can u !
love always,
faith-marilyn
xxx [img]smileys/smilies_01.gif[/img]

[Jenneh]

iv spent every day of my life thinking about being sick.,. as a lot of us here have... and its the most tiring thing i can think of.


i know ur depressed and ur having a bit of a down/rough day... but suicide is not the answer.


are u regularly depressed? if so, anti-depressants might help you to get the strength back in you.


just try and remember that a lot of us here feel the way u do -- we're allhere fightinog it together -- and we do NOT let emet tke control of us, do we?


i no how tempting suicide is sometimes... i mean the amount of times iv thnought about it is countless, but after i saw suicide right in front of me --- i realised suicide is never the answer. you leave behind a lot of grief, anger, depression to other people. and uv deprived urself of the life u CUD have had,


emet doesnt have to be with you forever... keep fighting and it will go. eventually.


Jen xxxxxxxx

[faliraki]

I too spend most days just thinking about being sick. I have a family and instead of enjoying myself with my 2 sons, I just spend all day sitting in a chair worrying. A lot of us are like this but there are good days. If you aren't getting any help try to find some and everyone here is always available for support or any questions that you might have.


You can beat this!

[sbias]

You can beat this, you can walk up and smack your emet in the face. I felt the way you have so many times over. It is so hard trying to come to a ground where instead of fighting not to be ill, you fight the emet itself. I was so bad, when I was getting symptoms of IBS, I thought my apendix was going out. I wasn't scared of my apendix going haywire, I was scared I might be sick over my apendix. We fightso hard to stop the v monster,and we worry about the Vmonster till it attacks us at night, everytime we eat, in everything we do. It takes anger, anda hard stand, and when you are ready you will stand up against your emet and you'll beat it.


V**** is something that lasts minutes, death is everlasting, it tears my heart out to hear you think of ending, I'm not saying you will but the thought crossingyour mind, as for support during panic, I have you on my MSN, and I browse these forums, from here, and work all the time. You feel bad? I am here, you feel sick? I'm here too. What you don't need is someone telling you your not gonna vomit, what you need is someone to tell you that it's ok to be scared of something, and if it happens and you have to face that fear you are not alone.


Love, Stephen

[mbs730]

Lizzy you poor thing. Please dont ever think that way.
You better call someone if you are feeling this depressed. However this
emet is getting worse for me too lately. I empathize and sympathize
with you but dont ever think suicide. Stephen is right, vomiting is
something that lasts minutes, death is indefinite. I know that the last
time I vomited, it was a very long time ago but I survived it..... but
knowing that really doesnt change how I feel now. I know this is
something that you dont want to hear but I am at the point now where I
want to get sick just to see once again how bad it really is. I am more
phobic of others being sick around me than I am of myself unless I am
faced with the possibility. But I think I want to make myself do it. I
dont know anymore either. I dont have any good advice for you, I just
feel your pain.



Miriam

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[Galadriel]

Hey there,


I know how rough emet gets, especially with people like your mom as your only support. My dad is the same way. He doesn't care if Im panicking, as long as it doesnt reflect poorly on him. I know things get hard to handle, and it sucks, but someday you will get better (getting older naturally helps you become more in control of things and feel better about yourself I have found) and you'll look back and be so glad youdidn't end it.

[terified girl]

I've often felt the same way, lately I've been doing better, and the thing that is somehow making me not think of it so much is..


How often does one really get sick?


If I do catch something, then I will worry about itwhen the time comesand badly, but until then I want to try and live a little.


Sure there are times where my stomach feels icky, but as my bf always says, it doesn't mean your going to be sick, could be alot of things, stress, happiness, pms (sorry) and so on....


Yeah I ate too much, but stuffed like a pig to me means I used to cry and think I was going to v*, now I try to not overeat and if I have a little then I say it will pass, let it make its way down, your system can not work magic.....


I hope what I said somehow helps you a little bit because for me these are the things I say to myself everytime I feel panic coming on, most of the time it works, but sometimes it doesn't but I'll definately take the most part!

[chloe]

I used to feel like this too. I went to my doc with a friend as I was in a bit of a panic abouth aving to discuss my fear - but I thought if I told my doc about it she maybe able to help me with some theapy - that was the reason i went to her in the first placew - to find out about hypnotherapy - but she saw my distress and suggested that I take seroxat as I seemed really down (cos of my phobia).


Seroxat has helped me not only feel happier about myself but also reduced my OCD and anxiety as well as making me NOT think about the possiblilty of being ill ALL the time. I've been on seroxat for teo years now and am slowly coming off it to see how I cope without it as I don't want to be dependent upon it for too long - I want to be able to face EMET and WIN.


The only thing I can suggest is go and see your doc - tell them EVERYTHING that worries you and how you want your life NOT to be controlled by the fear.


Please do not think suicide is the answer - I know this fear can be frustrating and you feel like you can't win - when I was 18 I was terrified of leaving my house for fear that as soon as I did I would come into contact with germs and be ill - especially at the time of my A'level exams.


If you want to PM me feel free - but I seriously think you should talk to your doctor - they'll understand - or if you get too anxious to talk write down everything before hand and give it to them or read from the list - you'll feel 1000 times better telling someone who can do something to make you feel better.


Take care, xx


PS We are ALL here for you day and night...anytime.

[chloe]

I just wanted to add that you're stronger than me in that you're able to write the V* word - when ever I come accross that word I just make it "v" I can't even say the word aloud or even in my head - it scares me. Bit like how HArry Potter's wizardng friends are scared to say their own V* word - VOLDEMORT. So pat on the back to you for being able to do that.


Just remember - you're on this forum, you're aware you have emet - do not let it win - if you commit suicide emet has won and that is no way to beat it. Instead of being scared try and go on the defensive - stand up to it and say "You will not beat me, I'm stronger than you"


Try to stay positive - i know its hard - but look at how many days you get thru without being ill. If needs be have a little calendar or chart and tick the days off as they go - if you have a particularly strong day give your self a treat (a star on the chart, and then when you have 5-10 stars treat yourself to a book or something)


I seriously think your first port of call should be your doc tho - especailly as you're feeling as down as you are at the moment.


I hope you feel happier soon *hugs*

[ejb199]

Hey Youngemet

i dont think a day has passed that i havent thought about v*ing (i can write the word - but i know some of u dont like that) Anyway - my point is that you might not be able to stop thinking about it - but try thinking about it in a rational way. You dont wanna die - trust me - i have been sick twice this year - and strangely, the first thought that i had was 'im still here - my life hasnt changed - its the same as it was 5 minutes ago - NOTHING has changed'

Try and think about things logically - i know its hard but i bet 99% you dont feel sick coz u really are sick - it will just be the panic - which leads to nausea and more panic! so we need to curb the panic- think about taking your mind off this - reading/writing/drawing - focus on keeping a steady breath - dont let your breathing get out of control - hence too much oxygen - dizzy feelings and panicing that we feel sick again! really count your breaths - breathe in for 5 or so and out - very very slowly - it really works.

try and keep positive - we are all here for u

[sarahx]

I know how you are feeling lizzy... i am so depressed because of emet, i just wish we had breaks from it but for me at least its every single day, every single minute. Its always there. Logically i know v*ing wont kill me... i v*et last yr and was fine afterwards yet im still petrified it doesnt make sense? Maybe you should see what your doctor says? Dont suffer, take the anti depressants they really do help til u can beat emet. I know how tempting suicide looks... ive often thought about it... slashed my wrists til i passed out but it doesnt make anything any better? The guilt it brings to other ppl, ur family for the rest of their lives... its just not worth it.


I wish i had one wish for us emets, to make us able to beat this monster... if u ever need to talk u can email me or pm me...


my email addy is [email protected]


We are here for you, dont give up, we are here every step of the way


Sarah xxx

[kentuckygalrk]

Aw sweetheart... please feel better!


I can't say I know "exactly" what you're going through... but I've been there before for other reasons. You just have to keep reminding yourself that things will get better and that there are people who love you. If you ever need to talk, or if there's ever ANYTHING any of us can do for you please, PLEASE don't hesitate to ask. You can't let this emet rule your life... just stand up and say "I CAN DO THIS" and you CAN... I promise.


You may seriously consider going and talking to someone... even if it's just one of us. I'm the kind of person who when it comes down to it I just can't let go and cry and share my feelings to someone I have to connection to (the hardest thing for me is I never know, still don't know exactly what it is that gets me down). Thank God I have a very special, very wonderful friend who's always been there for me. When it comes to him I don't really even have to speak, he's been there before and hejust knows. He's honestly saved my life at least once... and it's hard to admit that I was that far gone... but I was.


I've been taking Elavil (which is technically an anti-depressant) for my headaches since June and honestly, while they've helped with the headaches emensely... my worst time depression wise was while I was on them... and I found out from a doctor that anti-depressants can sometimes make you worse. So, while it's something to look into, and perhaps something to try, make sure that you don't rely on that workingtoo much and talk to your doctor right away if they start making you feel worse.


But again... remember...there's always going to be someone here for you. Anytime you need anything please let us know! I may not always know the right things to say (I wish I did), but I will at least be here to listen to you... even if you just need to vent! Take care sweetie!


~Rachel

[youngemet222]

Thanks for the responses. I have actually thought a lot about suicide in my life, yet I have never attempted it that much. I feel little happier now, for some odd reason. But I'm also afraid of death, as a lot of people are. I mean, there are many other factors (or whatever) that cause me to be sad and depressed, such as the fact that I really have no friends (I've never really had any, except one friend) andthe fact that I have my Aunt Flow (If you know what I mean), and other things. I just wish vomiting wasn't so painful and gross. I mean, some of you that have posted on here that you have thrown up, have said that it wasn't THAT bad.Actually, last year, I had this experience with regurgitation or vomiting (it was either one) andI was crying when I did it, butit really wasn't that bad itself. But, also, it wasn't like real vomit, even though I felt nausea before it. In that case, the nause ws worst than what came out of my mouth.But, of course, I'm still an emetophobic. So, if feel okay now....but I'm still nothappy, but with this emet, I do not think any of us would be happy with worrying about vomiting (of course!). Thank you for reading my long, boring posts.


Lizzy

[chloe]

Glad you're feeling happire today Lizzy. I still think it might be an idea to talk to your doc - we all have good and bad days but if you find the bad come around more often than the good it might be an idea to speak to someone.


Don't let emet win!